DEAR GOD * * * * *

Dear God

It’s been a decade since we’ve had a meaningful conversation,
And on occasion I’ll step outside my door;

Only to find pieces of myself lying on-top of the welcome carpet.

Surrendered, to the touch of you

Remembered, to the face of you

In short

 

I’ve never understood the human spirit.

Too hold the heart in hand, is too rid the heart in head

These pieces of you, seen

To grasp the peace in spirit is to bid the soul of bed

But God, I’m really not that desperate anymore

Cuz I’ve seen you playin’, f****n’ around in my garden

I’ve seen just past you.

 

And oh God, I’ve faced it.

Just to have placed it

Faced down, around your holiness

Antagonize this? I cannot erase this memory.

This something, springs stupid

Trapped inside of me

 

From the beginning, lost beginning

I’ve seen your shadow cloaked with red velvet charm.

Been so safe, as I've shut my mouth

More wine, more tears, this cabaret.

More swears, more tares

Just to get away.

 

These semesters, placed blame these molesters

For I am, this welcome mat

This demon-spirit, from his name; Daddy Christ

And his royal humanness

 

Found torture, and pleasure from his daily beatings,

I, this dog mat

Placed-out from distinguishing wrong from right

And with this bitter air, come-round this corner and back in vain

Hes singin’ in my head, just a child

Came swimmin’ in my bed

Come in the rain, around this church with this campaign.

From its holiness, misled
Came believing, what he said
Come with the pain, mixed with the rain. Around this church and back again

On knees- I’ve bled.

Came sinkin’ in my head.

 

Dear God

Written By; Joshua Randall

Session IV: Eventually

Reviews

[.]

questioning the very essense of Him...Oh I laughed and cried..lived and died..all the while hoping this little gem would give me answers...favourite..deeply

[Crowley]

This is like a huge glance inward, a note to self that we are aware that we have been self sabotaging our lives, but what the f**k, it had to be that way, what other way was it gonna be. That little corner of our heart that sees God or whatever, peeking from around the corner, that coy little smirk, irritating and comforting at the same time. This was really strong. May seem like a bit of rambling, but this had me going. Nice to see you around.