Ice.

 

A face among a few,

Thousands, maybe.

But no one sees you…

 

Falling into their hands,

Like a deck of cards.

Shuffle.

Deal.

 

They let go.

Suddenly.

And you are on ice.

People smiling.

Skating around you,

Like you don’t exist.

Your body heats the ice.

They melt.

 

Melt into water,

And poured into a cup.

 

Drank by the one you love.

The outside shell of something more.

Something better…

But you drown in his eyes,

Way before you reach his throat.

Reviews

[Shelly Wiseberg]

This poem is getting my vote! I loved your words to describe emotions, and I felt it the most from your poetry. Great description love the way you express yourself, Shelly

[Vanessa]

For some reason, when I was reading this, I
sort of pulled my eyebrows together in a sort of
Compassionate, Relatable and Understandable sort of way.
I think the lot of poems you've written are sort of easy
to relate to makingthem nice to read.
Thanks.
& Great job.

-Vanessa

[Raef C. Boylan]

The short statements in this work really well to build up the distanced mood.
I can't tell if the ending is positive or negative; unrequited or not
"They melt...Drank by the one you love" - seems like either he took them away, which is good, or you were just one of many droplets in the drink, which seems negative.
Then we've got the uplifting section of
"The outside shell of something more.
Something better�" - followed by a "But", which maybe detracts from the positive?

Hmm.

It's a good piece; you really set the scene and the narrator's loneliness for us.
Great poem. Thanks for posting it.

[Celtic Cat]

wow, October, this is deep!!! I see there's no swimming in the kiddie pool with you! So very somber and filled with angst I feel, of course it could be my filters. I also adore the last lines...perhaps a happy ending. Excellent imagery, very enjoyable read. Life sometimes does resemble a game of 52-pickup and scrambling to pull the pieces back together can be quite the task. I wish you inner peace and love, my friend, excellent write.

Nice. I like the comparison using a deck of cards, as well as the last line very much.