Until You Lose It

You slit your wrists, your legs, and your thighs
Substituting the tears for blood
Does it make you feel better to know you
have some control (Until you lose it)
Get a little braver
Cut a little deeper
(It's not bad, doesn't even hurt)
Sweet release, nothing but sadness
Do you feel better knowing you can control it (Until you lose it)
Go a little deeper
A bit longer now (I swear it's not bad)
Let go of the memories and pain
Can't help it, I feel better, it's under control (Then you lose it)
Your casket is lowered, you finally let go
But we're left here
Weeping, crying, begging to have you back
Another lonely girl cuts deeper
Just to lose her control in the end
 

Reviews

[Patricia(:]

WOW! A really good wow! This poem is really moving, I liked how you repeated Until you lose it, and also how it doesn't hurt momentary, or how it's not that bad. This poem is real& full of such strong emotion! I like it :D It's like a short story in a poem

[al25]

The way you show the progressive loss of control as a suicidal person cuts himself is very effective. Great poem.

[deeps]

this is powerful and so emotional.

[MusicMartyrs]

this is so real
the ignorance some people have is very sad
i love how you use parenthesis in your writing
it makes it unique and adds to the story

[Snickerdoodle!!!]

WoW! this is an amazing poem! I can definitely relate to this piece because I know many people who have a past of cutting, including me and I'm just grateful we are all still living. Thanks for the great read!

[George Love]

This one captures the true ending in a suicide. They never see the last cut, the one that gets to everyone else, they never see the cut they inspire another to do. Trying to take total control they lose all control, very good, very good indeed.