Sweet Evil

That special warm feeling, I sense it in your presence,

That midnight light, the moon filled with many crescents.

Your soft eyes, invincible to the illusions surrounding,

Your precise force, like lightning refusing grounding.

Sweet love, streaming silently through the night,

Sweet pain, lusciously dispersing the magnetic light.

 

But thou shall be aware, the pleasure can turn to pain,

And those distant mists, suddenly dense with rain.

 

Your insane glow, instantly granted power viciously.

Your lasting pulse, seemingly eating souls maliciously,

Evil images, sliding through my mythical cleansing eye,

Evil warmth, a dark sun shielded by my forgiving cries.

All of you lives inside...inside of me.

Reviews

[Shy Girl]

An all encompasing poem. The precise line between all is blurred...I like that thought. Not knowing really if it be a source of the light or the dark from within ones soul. They are all in there...just depends on what pops up or which combination comes calling first.

It felt like a rope was tied round my being and I was pulled towards one feeling...only to be let loosen to breathe..then tugged towards another feeling...the dark on the pulls..the light breathless on the releases. It has sooo got to be the mood I'm reading these in of yours. I am sooo diggin the darkness that underlines these last few that you've RRd me...don't know why..they just speak loudly to my head :)

[Odayin]

That was a rally nice "rope" analogy, and it described what you were trying to say beautifully! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'm loving this mood you're in

[reflectingus]

Wow this is powerful. I loved the sudden change in mood with the 2nd stanza, it just brought everything clashing, with the rhyme scheme and all, and the effects are just unalterable. Beautifully written, I could feel the depth, the poison beneath it all.

[Odayin]

Thank you, I was hoping the poison would be felt

[Sophie]

Okay, I'm gonna give this a go.
In the first stanza, I feel like he's completely and utterly in love with her, almost under a spell, like she's a witch. (judging by the thumbnail and the 'thou' and the last stanza, I think she's a witch) So because he's under the spell, he's feeling pain, but it doesn't phase him really, he's just like, "Oh, it's pain. But that's okay, because its from her."

And then the second stanza, it gets to his brain. 'And those distant mists, suddenly dense with rain." Fog doesn't really affect a person, except for their eyesight, right? But rain wakes you up, you feel it, so in that line, he's broken away from the spell.

in the third stanza, he looks at her, really looks at her and realizes what he said in the first stanza was completely deluded, the 'special warm feeling' is the 'insane glow' 'lasting pulse' is 'midnight light' and so on. The word makes you realize that these are bad things he's seeing. 'Insane' has a negative connotation, and the word choice in the first stanza is very loving, soft, comfortable.
And then nearing the end of the last stanza, she's taken to full power and maybe posessed him? I think I might be taking this too literally, but that's just what I thought of.

Great poem, by the way. :P

[Odayin]

You did take it slightly too literally. But in doing so, you actually understood a lot of it perfectly.
You were right with the third stanza being the same as the first but except in a evil way instead of a loving way. The middle stanza is a transition so you were right there as well.
The only things you took to literally were her being a witch (she just seems like a witch) and the last line. The last line is just supposed to represent what has happened, ever since he realized what she truly is or what she's become...he can't get her out of his head. Can't let her go. She lives inside of him.
But how someone perceives this is still based on perspective so I give you a lot of credit for this one. Nice job Sophie!

[Sophie]

okay, that makes a lot more sense lol, thanks

[Wild Willow Blue]

This kind of makes me think of a mythical, sort of, dominatrix? Not the sexual part, but an evil, woman-like creature that has taken over this soul, and fooled her way in. She plays nice on the outside, but inside...

Those are just my thoughts. Very well written.

[Odayin]

Everyone understands it differently...and that's what I like the most. This is one based a lot on perspective. You have no idea how happy I am that you actually perceived it as what you did. Thank you!

[Wild Willow Blue]

Yay! I feel smart!

[Sunshadow Coyote]

The best poem ive ever read....i cant even....i cant even understand it all. Escuse me while i re-read a couple hundred times

[Odayin]

Wow, thank you. I really appreciate it. I figured this was one that would either be really touching or really messed up. I understand you thought it was the former