Empty

A personal view of my opinion on life.

I wonder, with a curiosity that never ceases,

How one can see the world in so many separate pieces.

For my world can only be described

With the simplest of words.

Empty.

Though many pose the age old question,

"Is the glass half full or half empty?"

There are many answers I could give,

But none better than just, ever simply,

Empty.

And I suppose, to those that view life

As a time for growth and change,

No one truly understands my strife.

If I were to explain, in terms rather simple, I feel...

Empty.

My mind drifts to many different conclusions.

Considering where and when, exactly,

My life decided to take a downward tumble.

Farther and lower, until it finally becomes, as simple as can be,

Empty.

Just lying here, with thousands of thoughts

Running like wolves through my head,

I close my eyes and begin to fade away into unconsciousness.

As I join the perfect world I've envisioned in my dreams,

The trivial list of what I had considered problems turns out to be,

Much simpler than before:

Empty.

Author's Note

I know that this piece isn't as wonderfully written as my other pieces, but I decided to omit fancier wordplay and storytelling for a more personal, emotional approach. It's something new, hopefully you enjoy!

Reviews

[sL]

In the moment that I came upon this poem, I was feeling empty, which is why I clicked the link to this poem. I've read the poem a handful of times and this is kind of how it played out for me: I opened the poem. I really liked the formatting at first glance. It looked clean and seemed to make sense; It drew me in. I read the first stanza once, quickly and silently. I needed to read this one out loud. I read the first stanza, and felt so empowered. Like, yeah, I get this. I read the second stanza and thought that the last line was super smart. I read the next two lines and felt defensive! I keep saying that growth and change are what it's all about! I read on, however, because I was in love with the poem by then. I couldn't let my ego keep me from it; (it is so easy, after all, to just click out of these pieces and never think of them again). And, as I said, I reread the poem several times. Great/introspective work.

[Oliver Free]

Thank you very much, it certainly made my day better knowing that someone enjoyed my writing. This poem was meant to be thought provoking and expressive, and it seems that my goal has been accomplished. Glad you enjoyed!

[creative Marie]

I think this is really interesting, at first I thought that when you viewed life as empty that you may have been approaching this poem with a negative tone, until I read "As I join the perfect world" for this implies that empty isn't bad or sad or meaningless in anyway but that you are content and at peace there is no chaos no excitement just... empty. I very much enjoyed this poem and I'd like to contradict you by saying this is very wonderfully written and very fluent and better than I sometimes can do ;P

[Gray]

I used to try and cheer people up and tell them there's hope. I no longer do that. I let people think the way they want. If you're live is empty, I'll let you decide why and what you want to do about it, if anything t all.

[Coyote Poetry]

A hard topic discussed here in your words.
"I wonder, with a curiosity that never ceases,
How one can see the world in so many separate pieces.
For my world can only be described
With the simplest of words."
Nothing. What is nothingness and what is everything? I told my children, Travel, test life and have fun. A life filled with many things learn and journey. A worthwhile life. Thank you Oliver for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Oliver Free]

I really appreciate the kind words, thank you.

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Raylene]

Well structure my dear yet the feeling of emptiness is expressed I feel it could be there more but good work

[Oliver Free]

Thanks for the review!

[Kion B.]

Empty is such a great poem, in a way it seems almost playful or even mocking.

[Oliver Free]

Haha, glad you picked up on that!

[Shabeeh Haider]

This poem is nicely structured. We all have this feeling of "emptiness' at times. Nothing seems worthwhile and the heart and mind feel empty.

[William Liston]

The omission of "fancier wordplay and storytelling for a more personal, emotional approach" worked very well in this poem. It felt like I was dreaming as I read this. Boredom and emptiness are not easy emotions to convey in a poem for one simple reason: It's hard to convey boredom while keeping your reader interested. You, Oliver, did just that. Bravo.

-William Liston

[Oliver Free]

Thank you very much. This was a strange little idea that I had very late at night while working on another piece. I feel as though I was able to properly convey my own personal emotions while keeping the writing interesting. I'm yet again quite proud at how this turned out!

[Cobblestone Traveler]

I love the structure of this. I like how the last stanza is two lines longer; it fits with the notion of "thousands of thoughts running like wolves through my head". The tone comes across as very contemplative and numb. Excellent job!

[Oliver Free]

Thank you! I tried something a little different than my usual by making it extremely personal, and I think it turned out well! I appreciate your feedback.

[Ana Papaya]

I think you've done a wonderful job here Oliver.
Good writing.

[Oliver Free]

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed.