Darkness

Darkness

A Book by Rudy Menjivar
"

Ever since he can remember Joseph has been afraid of the dark. Even now that he's far from a child, he still fears the dark. They told him they would treat his fear, but they did do something sinister

"

© 2010 Rudy Menjivar


Author's Note

Rudy Menjivar
Hope you like it. Feel free to tell me which alternate ending you liked the most. This will be intertwined with all my other stories/books except the ones about Star Trek.

My Review

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Featured Review

My only point to make is that you need to break it up a bit. Generally, in dialogue between two or more people, you shouldn't run it all together. When one character is done speaking and another speaks, create a new line.

Example:

"Where's my keys," Bob asked, shuffling through each pocket in a nervous panic.
"On your desk, dear," Jill replied.

Makes the story easier to follow. Keep up the work. Writing is a cruel task at times.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

this was great to write ,very exciting really ,fear of dark places is really painful,about the ending why does it have to be like murder,off course you put three choices,well the best to fit is the first though i still think why should it end as a crime scene ,however,this is a great narrative ,lovely story and exciting to read...

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

My only point to make is that you need to break it up a bit. Generally, in dialogue between two or more people, you shouldn't run it all together. When one character is done speaking and another speaks, create a new line.

Example:

"Where's my keys," Bob asked, shuffling through each pocket in a nervous panic.
"On your desk, dear," Jill replied.

Makes the story easier to follow. Keep up the work. Writing is a cruel task at times.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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562 Views
2 Reviews
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Added on September 7, 2008
Last Updated on July 30, 2010
Tags: Alternate Reality, Alternate Realities, Science Fiction, Science-Fiction

Author

Rudy Menjivar
Rudy Menjivar

Ontario, CA



About
My main genres are: Science Fiction, Mystery, Horror Minor Genres: Crime & Investigative I have decided to become a screenwriter/author I enjoy writing science fiction. more..

Writing

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