Iaido

A poem, I wanted to recapture a bit of Iaido in this poem and the idea that the way of the sword is an endless path.

 

The shimmering light the hour of the savior

The radiant sun the power of the majestic

With force it strikes

Creating a moment of silence

Where the air is light and the mind is still

 

As it lands the ground gets tainted

The body grows hard

The body grows pale

The air gets cold, the world dark

 

Still as a fox

Sharp as a hawk

Sheath your pride

For the battle has been won

 

Fly like the wind

Rest with no peace

For your journey continues

Endless

Reviews

[Windy]

I like it! Great imagary(SP?), well written, a favorite for sure. Windy

[Rhonda]

I love the "rest with no peace."

The images in this poem are clear and real.

Nice job.

-R

[Pj]

This is one of your best writing (well that I've seen). I loved it, but there was one line that I felt didn't fit and it kind of bugged me and that was: "Fly like the wind". It presents a nice image, but it felt a bit off in this poem. Maybe try and reword it so it's not as cliched?
Overall...this is very nice! A pleasure to read!

[Kitsue]

*sigh* nice. Despite it being about a sword and killing, it's calming in a sense. Probably just my twisted mind, but I still like it.