5 Years Forward

Before it's too late

This could all disappear

Before the doors close

And it comes to an end

With you by my side

I will fight and defend

K e e p     h o l d i n g     o n

Because you know we'll make it through

Dear Kathryn,

Tonight you sat beside the fireplace.

You enjoyed the warmth and studied your reflection among the flames.

Memories trickled into your mind.

And you remembered that tomorrow is the day.

The day you will never forget.

It blew your mind that you could recall so many details 5 years ago.

And you remember thinking back then: Will I survive this? What will happen? How am I going to be in 5 years? Will things get any better?

Well.

Here we are, my friend.

We've reached 5 years.

You should be proud of yourself!

Because in these 5 years a lot has happened.

You have:

Traveled the world. (France, England twice, Ireland twice...do you know how lucky you are?)

Taught over 100 children. Two 4K classes, 1 preschool class,  One small 1st grade, and you cant forget to add the other children you ate lunch with.

You found love.

Lost love.

Made new friends.

Kept old friends.

Explored hidden places.

Kept secrets.

Laughed until you cried.

Passed tests.

Followed your heart.

Wrote a number of letters.

Earned certifications.

Welcomed new lives into the world.

Watched an infant grow up.

Learned how to drive.

Gave advice.

Wiped tears.

Made someone laugh.

Celebrated 5 more birthdays.

You've had your heart broken.

But then you found yourself.

You learned new talents.

Danced in a storm.

Turned in your pointe shoes.

Ran in a forest.

Let baby raccoons climb on you.

Taught someone how to dance.

Found a new band.

Saw that band twice.

Counted stars.

Discovered a few rainbows.

Spread kindness.

Found more love.

Grew wiser.

My point of this Kathryn is, you've lived.

You've simply lived.

And there's no doubt she would be proud of you.

I know you remember your tears.

And you still panic when you remember she's gone.

But look at you!

We are 5 years forward. And you thought you wouldn't make it.

You let all the grief flow through...and you eventually climbed out of it.

And tomorrow?...Tomorrow will be a brand new day.

A day you can continue to live for her.

You learned death is something you can never get over.

And you are the only person who has the power to decide when to let go...when to move on.

You learned that you can in fact - continue to live your life.

And you live your life in love and in joy.

xo

- The girl who was stronger than she thought.

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I was rendered speechless for a moment after reading this because it's very much relatable to me. I thought ack of the past five years of my life when I'd taken admission in dentistry and the people around me had thought I wasn't capable enough to do it yet here I am, after five years with a Dr. with my name but those people who discouraged me I don't see them around me or else hiding their faces.

It all comes down to this. You have to believe in yourself that you are strong and yes that you HAVE lived It's all a part of life but like any moment whether good or bad, it passes to bring a brighter tomorrow and a new you.

I loved reading this, Kathryn. I wish you all the success and happiness in the world.

Excellently penned :)

[Kathryn Smith]

Thank you Yumna that is an enormous compliment!! Thank you so much for the review. Really, from the bottom of my heart. It means so much.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome! Always a pleasure 😊

[Kathryn Smith]

Nice shades. xx

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you, Kat!

[Rynn]

"Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
K e e p h o l d i n g o n
Because you know we'll make it through" - I realize that this is an important preface into the piece, but be very wary of using other media, such as song lyrics in an original piece, especially without proper citation as to the original author of those lyrics or quotes. To me, it says that the author of the piece doesn't feel confident enough in their own words to allow them to stand alone. Not to say it's wrong to be inspired, but if you were thinking of this song while writing your piece - it should be apparent enough in your own writing to get the emotion in that song across in your own words.

"Dear Kathryn,
Tonight you sat beside the fireplace.
You enjoyed the warmth and studied your reflection among the flames.
Memories trickled into your mind.
And you remembered that tomorrow is the day.
The day you will never forget.
It blew your mind that you could recall so many details 5 years ago.
And you remember thinking back then: Will I survive this? What will happen? How am I going to be in 5 years? Will things get any better?" - I've condensed the lines here for the sake of review space, but I urge you to consider your spacing between the lines. I wouldn't go as far as to say it's improper, but does it add to the piece? If so - what is it supposed to accomplish? All good things to remember, even if it is a letter - to which some of it seems a bit unnatural. Needless description in a letter makes it sound less genuine. It also struck me as strange that this third person narrator that is writing a letter to Kathryn would know what she only thought in her head. Side note that the bold is a tad distracting from the core content of the questions you pose.

"Well.
Here we are, my friend.
We've reached 5 years." - I liked the abruptness of these lines, but felt it doesn't have much impact because we don't know what the 5 years means to this narrator. I don't believe in the 'keep reading, you'll find out' tactic as it tends to make for a lot of frustrated readers.

"You should be proud of yourself!
Because in these 5 years a lot has happened." - in the beginning it would seem we are led to believe there has been a tragedy or that we are coming up on an anniversary of a big event - so this line not only feels redundant if not unnecessary.

"You have:
Traveled the world. (France, England twice, Ireland twice...do you know how lucky you are?)
Taught over 100 children. Two 4K classes, 1 preschool class, One small 1st grade, and you cant forget to add the other children you ate lunch with.
You found love.
Lost love.
Made new friends.
Kept old friends.
Explored hidden places.
Kept secrets.
Laughed until you cried.
Passed tests.
Followed your heart.
Wrote a number of letters.
Earned certifications.
Welcomed new lives into the world.
Watched an infant grow up.
Learned how to drive.
Gave advice.
Wiped tears.
Made someone laugh.
Celebrated 5 more birthdays.
You've had your heart broken.
But then you found yourself.
You learned new talents.
Danced in a storm.
Turned in your pointe shoes.
Ran in a forest.
Let baby raccoons climb on you.
Taught someone how to dance.
Found a new band.
Saw that band twice.
Counted stars.
Discovered a few rainbows.
Spread kindness.
Found more love.
Grew wiser." - I really love the idea of this - but I feel like it fell a tad bit short. I think if It was condensed to the most important things it would have more impact. I thought otherwise, that it comes off as scattered. Content wise, I think you have a really nice thing going here.

"My point of this Kathryn is, you've lived.
You've simply lived.
And there's no doubt she would be proud of you.
I know you remember your tears." - repeating that she lived is very redundant here and I think is unneeded. Again I found myself getting frustrated by the obscurity of it all. I didn't feel as If I was meant to be reading this or at all like I - as a reader, was meant to be included.

"And you still panic when you remember she's gone.
But look at you!
We are 5 years forward. And you thought you wouldn't make it." - I felt like you got the hopefulness across here really well, but again, I have no idea who 'she' is.

"And tomorrow?...Tomorrow will be a brand new day.
A day you can continue to live for her.
You learned death is something you can never get over." - I found myself disappointed here only because these lines negate the initial hope/inspirational feel allowed to us by the previous lines.

Overall, I thought this could use another look through. A letter to one's self can be a powerful and painful thing. I think condensed and gone over a couple more times, this would be a very polished piece. Write on!

-Rynn

[Joshua Haines]

A lovely write. Enjoyed your words in the Poem. Well done

[Tony Jordan]

A great idea this.
When in doubt, this is your staff with which to aid your on-going journey moving forward.
I love the philosophical bent - the way good and bad are interleaved - not separate from one another, which shows a maturity beyond your years.
You have so much of life to look forward to and the optimistic tone in this is as a Segway to help carry you.
Keep smiling Kat!
You are loved.
:)