Inside a foodies mind

Inside a foodies mind

A Story by Kathryn Smith

Who ate my f*****g waffles. I was so excited about my waffles.


Life is over.


They eat all my f*****g food.


I'm going to waste away and die.


I don't get to enjoy anything anymore.


I should legit start hiding my food.


YES.


Ugh.


I hate breakfast.


Unless I have good food.


Time to go shopping!




Wow. Look at her hair!


She looks like a sheep.


Omg...it's MALIFICANT!


One of her butt cheeks could fit two of my entire legs in it!


Dayum.


I bet her husband likes that.


...Lol


I should really stop looking at that butt.


People must think I'm a pervert.


I genuinely hope no one saw me looking.





WHO IS THAT.


I don't know who that is..


Oh god.


They're looking at me like they know me.


How does everyone know me?!


WHYYYY.


I don't wanna be social.




Don't talk to me.


I'm shopping for food.


Don't talk to me.


Don't LOOK at me.


Just walk by really casually.


Pretend you're not here.


If I could bathe in nutella I WOULD.


But would that infect me down there?


Whoever thought of putting chocolate on their body during sex is a genius.






Crap.


She saw me.


Time to put your acting face on!


Seriously though who is that?


I don't speak English.


Wait...No.


OMG IT'S A DOG!


OMG


Dog!


Dog!


CUTE DOG!


I must go pet that dog.


..Or not...





Uuugghhh.


What's the point of buying food if everyone but me is going to eat it?


I'm ticked off.


I need to move out.


My brother is a w***e.


He prances around with his stupid little girl friend and he doesn't even have a job.


While here I am...working my butt off...cleaning everything...the f*****g shower...the bathroom..take out the garbage.


And what does he do?


EAT ALL MY FOOD THAT I PAID FOR!


Seriously though..


I should go buy a dog..



and when I move out...I am going to be happiest about all my food that I WILL GET TO EAT.


But wait..


If I have a dog....what if it gets into my food too?

© 2017 Kathryn Smith


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Reviews

Seriously though...

Sounds like a day without my Adderall. I loved this because you focused on the most important thing - FOOD!

This is a charming piece of pie.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Kathryn Smith

6 Years Ago

haha Thank you Carol! :D You're making me want some pie now. LOL

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1 Review
Added on July 6, 2017
Last Updated on July 6, 2017