Happier P1

Lately, I've been thinking: 

I want you to be happier. 

And I will warn every ball of sunshine I know.  

For every woman works together. 

And through looks we give to one another; we alert our fellow girls. 

Of danger lurking near. 

If only I could warn her. 

That you drag us through the mud. 

You pressure us to drink. 

You smile with your eyes, and cook meals for us

But make it feel like a game to win you. 

To impress you. 

You sit and watch your movies. 

With no content. 

You take us on a few dates..

But suddenly scowl at doing something fun. 

Unless it involves drinking. 

You tare down your exes and tell us all about it. 

You rip my underdogs apart. 

You share horror stories of that girl who slapped you. 

(I am so happy I was the second...) 

And then you writhe in your bed. 

Telling us you dreamt of her. 

Making us feel like s**t. 

You act shady. 

 Money hungry. 

All while dressing up to blind us. 

Drowning us in cologne to lure us. 

You lie through your teeth. 

And crown yourself prince charming...

But then you turn around and comment with pride..

That you are a bad boy..

A player. 

And our hearts sink..

Because we are deep in your clutches..

and now we need to get out...

As soon as I saw her with you.

I knew it was time for me to fly. 

And more than anything...

I wanted to take that knife you stuck in my back...

and decapitate your heart.

So you could for once feel..

What you did to all of us.  

You are not a Christian. 

You are not kind. 

You are not whole. 

You my dear...

Are a boy drowning in misery. 

Feeding on the faithful. 

Close the door, M

It is time you believe in goodbyes. 

I am the lesser of two evils...

And know that every time you see a shadow in your peripheral

It's just me. 

Making sure you never hurt another woman

Again. 

And a piece of me will follow you forever. 

Isn't it romantic? 

The ashes of roses has a whole new meaning....

Author's Note