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Just a little poem I wrote. I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it.

I was all alone
Staring at a sky that I could never call my own
I think I was listening to something old...Something familiar
The air smelled of death...Of solitude

I climbed to the top of a hill
And sat there staring at the stars
They seemed so far away
Yet they were the only light I could see

My mind drifted to days gone by
Simple days when life seemed full of possibilities
When it felt o.k. to smile
And everything was colorful and held such beauty

Where did those times go?
Did they crawl into a hole and die?
I would bite my tongue until it bled
Just to feel that way again

Now I think way more than I should
I look at your pictures and sometimes cry
You never held my hand in this life
You never showed me how to smile

Regrets are many
And triumphs very few
The splinters of guilt sometimes seem too much to bear
So I close my eyes and I think of you

Broken beyond all comprehension
Saddened and sick of this life
It's a tragedy to know that things are dead
As dead as this soul that is inside of me

Author's Note

Let it rip

Reviews

[C. Porter]

Ah, this is great. I love it. These lines "I was all alone/Staring at a sky that I could never call my own" are really good because it holds so much truth and also a feeling of melancholy acceptance.
The only thing is, I feel like the 3rd stanza is kind of forced. "When it seemed okay to smile"...I don't know. Something about it.
AnYwAy, great read. Thanks for sharing.

[Ruth]

Sometimes we have to verse it as it is! This is solid despair delievered with punch! Inviting and lamentful, brilliant work xoxo

[Dove]

I love this poem, you are an amazing writer

[zombiikillah666]

i read this twice. its ssoooo good. your a wonderful writer (: good job my friend. x)

[Wunderlich]

Let it rip I shall. I really like this piece. I feel like I can identify with it, and I also really enjoy the "adventurous" feeling of the first three stanzas, as if you wrote out a story in poetic format. The following four stanzas build upon and flush out the first three stanzas very well. Awesome imagery and diction. Excellent job, man.

[lindsay]

Ah. So amazing. The imagery was really nice. I can feel the intensity and emotions in here, which is always great. This is my favorite line "The splinters of guilt sometimes seem too much to bear
So I close my eyes and I think of you". I feel like you are telling a story, a beautiful compelling story and I get to be the joyous reader. Well done!

[Clarisse Nanoit]

I'll bet this would make a GREAT song, and I'm sure you've thought the same, since you seem to be such a mucis guy. Idk why, but I get an Offspring feeling from this. Idk... Their new stuff feels a lot more honest, so...
My favorite line is, "I think I was listening to something old...Something familiar" because I think it's interesting how so much writing (including my OWN!) claims to have held onto every detail, and it talks about all these details like it remembers them clearly. I like that you're saying, "I don't exactly remember..." because every detail doesn't matter. What matters is the whole and looking back on a different time and portraying the entire idea, the entire feeling, which I think you did masterfully. Great work, pal!

KH

[Butterflymom]

This is well written, intense, and the emotion and sentiment beautifully expressed. AWESOME.

[Greg Skura]

Brilliant!!! I love the imagery that your words convey.Thank You for sharing!

[Dana Shefelbine]

"The splinters of guilt sometimes seem too much to bear"
love the choice of words, another striking poem.