SCUBA

SCUBA diving is easy.   That was the report from an instructor want-ta-be as he strapped a tank on my back. We were in the rear of a Chevy van headed for Hoods Cannel and that is North and East of Tacoma Washington. This is cold, dark water made darker by the time which was a very early 2:00 AM. On board was a diving instructor, the instructor want-ta-be and me. When we reached the dive spot I was happily thrown into the icy cold water as the instructors were both screaming? “Breath and watch for Crabs!”  I did and when our limit was reached we went back to shore. There I was told I needed a proper SCUBA class and to be signed off by a proper SCUBA teacher. I don’t remember the name of the class but the main instructor was “Jerry.”

So the class began with Jerry, his wife, his dog and 15 or 20 other brave souls. It took weeks of very official teaching and learning by everyone. The dog did dog stuff and wandered through the class hoping for pats on the head. Which he got.

After taking the whole proper class, we were all ready for our “first” open water dive. We were scheduled to go to the dreaded Hoods Cannel. This would be a “go back to” for me. And Jerry, his wife and I suppose his dog knew this. They knew the instructor and instructor want-ta-be. And they knew we had bent the rules to and beyond the break point so many weeks before. So Jerry had put me with a kid in the official class and I was somehow supposed to turn this kid into a diver. Good Luck.

Now this kid was a good student I was partnered up with was named Slim. He could out swim the class in a pool doing exercises. And he took tons of notes in class so about aced every written test we were given. But open water like Hoods Cannel scared him to death. So when it came time to do what we all had come to do; he couldn’t. He got waste deep in the cold water and walked back out and took off his tank. “No Thanks” he said and walked back to camp to pet the dog.

I should point out that the dog was a Irish Setter that loved all the attention it received. And it was very well behaved on the 3 hour drive to the camping/dive site on the Cannel. The moment we got there and the sliding door was opened it vanished into the park. About 10 minutes later it came back at a very slow walk and carrying a very large piece of fire wood. The wood was about 20 lbs. all cut and split and ready to burn. Jerry cussed a bit, took the wood and wandered off to find its proper owner.

So after Slim had quit the whole dive idea, and because one should never dive alone, Jerry assigned a girl to be my partner. This class had an odd number of students so Jerry had served as her partner all through class. Her name was Kathy and seemed qualified enough, so off we went.

At 50 feet down we turned left as instructed. She was there for her first open water dive. I was there to GET CRAB!

For reasons known only to her she would not leave me alone. She swam so close she could have been an extra tank. When I saw crab off to my right I grabbed a handful of water to me make the turn. Unfortunately Kathy had swam over the top of me and was now also on my right. I grabbed her air regulator and ripped it out of her mouth. This all happened in one motion and took about one second.

She was now in 50 feet of water without any air. Like a rocket she took off for the surface. If she held her breath from there she would be very hurt. So with little thought I grabbed her fin and pulled her back down where I jammed the regulator back into her mouth. After a few moments she was breathing easy again and so was I.

The rest of the dive was un-eventful and no other crabs were spotted or captured. But we all had completed the course and were now “divers”.

I wish this extra-long story had a happy ending but it doesn’t. Jerry and the dog were killed as they headed to a different dive site for a different dive class. Burglars had invaded my garage and stole all my SCUBA equipment. All in all it took my heart out of the sport. But I do keep all the good memories.

Reviews

[JayG]

As someone who has spent a lot of time underwater, I must comment on this:

If you're going to write about diving you really have to know what you're talking about. This is pure fantasy, and in life would result in death.

1. No one puts a tank on while sitting in a truck that's in motion. You put it on when you're ready to enter the water.
2. You put your own equipment on—especially on a certification dive.
3. No one with brains dives at night without light.
4. No one "throws" a diver into the water.
5. No qualified diver panics because their regulator is knocked from their mouth. It's no big deal. And you said she was qualified, remember? You pick the regulator up and put it back in your mouth. And if you can't access the regulator you can buddy breathe with the other diver and perhaps have them find your regulator, before giving up and ascending. And no diver shoots for the surface holding their breath, because anyone who dives with someone inexperienced as a dive-buddy is an idiot, not a diver. One of the first things you learn is to avoid an embolism. And no one is sent on an open water dive until they have demonstrated the ability, in a secure location, to handle themselves under difficulty. They are not "turned into divers," on an open water dive. And divers on a certification dive are not sent into a "dreaded" piece of water.

[Gee]

Love the honesty of this review...

[Patrick JL]

As someone who has spent a lot of time underwater, I must comment on this:
I’m so glad another diver read this. If you would like my NAUI card number I could supply it.
If you’re going to write about diving you really have to know what you’re talking about. This is pure fantasy, and in life would result in death.
Isn’t all writing a fantasy in some way? But it all did happen and reported as close as I can remember it. Except for the dogs breed. I just remembered that and will correct that soon.
1. No one puts a tank on while sitting in a truck that's in motion. You put it on when you're ready to enter the water.

It sure felt like a tank I put on in the truck? I also put one on before entering the water.
2. You put your own equipment on—especially on a certification dive.
I will hare to re-read the story and correct it but try as I might I don’t think I reported I was dressed by anyone.
3. No one with brains dives at night without light.
Again I will re-read and correct if I said I didn’t have a lite. But we did turn all the lights off at one point and that was the blackest black I ever saw!
4. No one "throws" a diver into the water.
I have to admit this was a bit of a metaphor on my part. Please excuse it/me. But at the time and situation it kind of felt like being thrown around.
5. No qualified diver panics because their regulator is knocked from their mouth. It's no big deal. And you said she was qualified, remember? You pick the regulator up and put it back in your mouth. And if you can't access the regulator you can buddy breathe with the other diver and perhaps have them find your regulator, before giving up and ascending. And no diver shoots for the surface holding their breath, because anyone who dives with someone inexperienced as a dive-buddy is an idiot, not a diver. One of the first things you learn is to avoid an embolism. And no one is sent on an open water dive until they have demonstrated the ability, in a secure location, to handle themselves under difficulty. They are not "turned into divers," on an open water dive. And divers on a certification dive are not sent into a "dreaded" piece of water.
She was ABOUT to be certified and she DID panic and head for the surface with great vigor. When I pulled her back down her regulator just appeared in front of my face. Seemed like the right thing to do. We had two tanks of air and two regulators. I saw no good reason to buddy anything. She did “shoot” for the surface. If she was holding her breath I could tell and was not about to take a chance. HAHAHA We were ALL inexperienced but there we were in open water. Life can be a hell of a teacher. Our open water dive was in Hood’s Cannel and it was the last dive of that class.
So…………..The only correction I need to make is the dogs breed. The rest happened as written.

[Patrick JL]

Oh .......... and thank you for the comment.