A Big Word

Some things I am better at dealing with than others. Tried to use some rhyme here, which I don't normally do, i'd be interested to hear if it works or not!

Depression.

A huge word
One that I have danced around
In a thousand chaotic choreographies
      Taking two steps towards it
Before turning my back in defeat
                Retreating to the comfortable absence
Of ignorance.

So maybe I didn’t want to get out of bed today.

           So what?

Neither do a thousand other people
                Who clutch at their duvets
Refusing to acknowledge
                The dawn of a new day.

So maybe I did isolate myself
          
           So what?

Everybody grows distant
           From friends and family
                From time to time
           When familiarity
Becomes hard to bear
                                When they can’t explain
Why the phone is still ringing
Why the messages haven’t been read
Why everyone’s best intentions lie in a slowly stacking inbox
Maybe I’m just introverted
In need of a social detox.

So maybe I didn’t do any washing today

           So what??

I can’t smell the lingering odour of stale tobacco
Stained in to the fibres of the clothes I’ve rotated for the past week
And it’s difficult to dry a wardrobe
                When November is cold and damp
                The flat is cold and cramped
                When it feels like there’s barely space in here  for my body
                Let alone the decorations to keep it in shape.

So maybe I should have spoken to somebody

           So
                           What?

Few people ever do
My problems are small
Self-inflicted
A thousand grains of sand strewn across my bed sheets.
Whilst they stick and chafe
                And keep me up at night
                I know people lying on beds of nails
                With an iron duvet spread across their frame
                How can I compare myself to that?

 

So maybe I should do something.
So
What?
I know that I won’t.

Reviews

[Onlyme]

Nicely done Patrick, great examples of what being depressed make you feel. Like you said everyone can relate to this.

[Sami Khalil]

Very good analyses on this pertinent state and prevalent one. You frame it accurately.

[PatrickPink]

Thank you very much my man! It's a subject I personally find difficult to deal with, and I wanted to reflect that in my choice of words! Thanks for reviewing!

[Sami Khalil]

All good . You are welcome.

[Sami Khalil]

"Depression.

A huge word
One that I have danced around
In a thousand chaotic choreographies
Taking two steps towards it"

[Gerald Parker]

I'm doing something wrong. This poem has had more hits than all mine put together over the same period. You're doing something right and I'm not. this quite effective as a description of your state of mind and bringing out in the open and sharing must help you and others. I call this brave. I have to say this: it's a monologue which could just as easily have set out as prose. God, I'm a miserable bugger but I do know something of depression - my wife has it and with my cancer I might suffer from myself soon.

[PatrickPink]

Thank you for taking the time to comment! The only advice I can give with regard to views is just make sure you tag the hell out of your writing, and stay active in terms of comments and reviews! You're definitely right, but I tend to shy away from prose in general because poetry gives me more to work with in terms of messing around with space and grammar! Thanks again!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Looks like free verse to me, reads like free verse too. Saw a half rhyme in there somewhere. Having tried many forms I prefer free verse myself. Anyway the form suits you as you paint a nicely complex and detailed picture that does not immediately scream depression but perhaps lethargy and a touch of the blues. At times it is quite difficult to maintain the mundane and is easier to simply stay under the duvet or just vegetate with or without a beer or two!

[PatrickPink]

Thank you so much for your words! I tend to write in free verse anyway, just because it's so much less restricting than traditional forms! You're completely right, just keeping up with what needs to be done can become a serious effort over time!

[trying_to_write]

I don't think I've seen someone perfectly capture everything that depression is in one poem. You did amazing describing the exact feeling, very well written.

[PatrickPink]

I'm glad you think so, it's a tough topic to address and I have a habit of devaluing my experiences because they're not as extreme as some other people's. It's a subject that could do with a great deal more explanation, but I'm glad that it resonated with you!

[trying_to_write]

It appears that we have the same issue here. What’s important though, is that even if we see our problems as less severe or extreme as others, we still take the time to help ourselves and work them out.

[Chris Shaw]

Depression is the pits. It can prevent you from doing the simplest of things. It totally wipes out all motivation and anything becomes a mountain to climb. I looked for rhyme, I saw two slight hints of it. Somehow I don't think that is important. All good wishes

Chris

[PatrickPink]

I appreciate you taking the time to read so closely Chris, I appreciate it! Using rhyme is something I want to work on, simply because it can be an incredibly effective device, and it's one I don't employ often enough! That was exactly what I was trying to address, the idea of an insurmountable mundane, I'm glad you noticed!