Chemicals

 

 

 

The chemicals were there
the smell, feel, taste
they were careful not to uncork the vial
temptation so strong

They were each other's half
they were careful not to slice the middle of the apple
candied and sweet

He came into her life
on a hot July day by circimstance
perhaps in retrospect, serendipity
meant to be
the timing was, it was
off like a clock with a broken
tick-tock

Came he did even though the clock was
off and out of time
to look at each one seperately
they were ordinary

He tall and thin
lanky eyes of ice-blue
though so warm
one of the last cowboys
a dying breed

She tall dark hair with eyes to match
warm and inviting with a slight foreign accent
ordinary by standards

To see them together
now this was another story of it's own
both looked beautiful, mystical and so magical
electricity sparked , flew shooting
arrows with tips of red love into each other's heart

The timing was off
broken like a clock
the love was so apparent
they fit each other like a glove

He asked her to come with him
with a shakey voice and tears falling
she told him all the reasons she could not

Being in tune with each other
these things he understood
with tears falling he pulled her to him
she did not resist

One kiss? The temptation so great
the timing so off
she touched his face
he drove away out of her life
just as he had driven into it

She sank to her knees
he could see her in his rearview
through the hot July haze and
red dust from the dirt road

Never did they forget the other
as a love like this comes but once in a life time
light years apart, still their
love was not lost

Author's Note

inspired by a book amd movie .. i bet you can tell what book..

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Bittersweet beauty in this poem that tells a story, Chloe! No matter how much love there is between two people, sometimes it just doesn't work. There was a song a few years ago entitled "Sometimes love is not enough" and this came to mind as I read your words. No, I don't know where it came from, but I do know I liked it a lot. Lydia

[*** Hey Jude***]

This piece reaches in to the depths of the heart with the methaphors you have wrapped around these tender emotions you have shared. ~ Jude xoxo :-)

[Michael X]

chloe, this is heartfelt and well written as the heart of the writing flows
with a sense of wordcrafting effect, accentuating the idea with detail,
the title is quite abstract in contrast, altogther its a movie in words.
a telling of love, life and losing. dreamy and sweetly haunting. beautifully done.

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

Great Write!!!

[Sean M. Addams]

a sad but touching piece... nice imagery and flow to this.... great jobb on this one .... very impressive piece:)

[Laura E. Aranda]

Can you tell me what is so special about
The Bridges to Madison County?
I have had two copies of that book and never read it....maybe I should? Let me know what you thought about it and why people rave about it so much.......cheers,lea

[Christopher G. Starling]

i like the chemical aspect to it a lot, and how the timing of the relationship was just off, but it is still a bit too sentimental for me.
as far as suggestions, and i hope you aren't offended by this (i am just trying to help the poem along here):
"temptation so strong", "each other's half", "came into her life", "in retrospect"(?), "broken tick-tock", "came he did", the description of the two: "he. . ." and "she. . ." (sounds weird, forced, imitated), "eyes to match", "shooting arrows with tips of red love into each other's heart", "they fit each other like a glove", "in tune with each other", "temptation so great", "just as he had driven into it", "Never did they forget the other as a love like this comes but once in a life time" "light years apart" (that is really long--a lot longer than a lifetime, which is only about 75 years, or if we're talking about me 50 years tops), "their love was not lost"
those were just the terms/phrasing that i thought could use a bit of editing. doesn't seem like you really took much time with this one. and although that can be freeing in many respects, i find poems should be read over a few times, after given a few days to let it drift from your mind.
anyway, i hope you don't mind me taking an especial interest in it. i just think you were right on track and maybe didn't feel like editing. please don't keep this review. i probably look like a total dick. sorry for that. i'm just trying to help.

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Chloe-

Beautiful write. Isn't it ridiculously sad when timing keeps apart two people who could be magic together?

Bah! I can't say any more about it. That is just too sad.

Peace and love,
Gabe

[Blackbirdsong]

This is still one of my favorites of yours and it's going back up on my list. I have to say that since I've known you I've seen you really come into your own as a writer. You have a real ability to write about social issues in a way that makes me look at things in a different way. Great job on this one :)

[Cold Coffee Magazine]

THi reminds of a country song that was a big hit abou six years ack called
"Strawberry wine."

I'm not a huge country fanm but I like some and rec. after reading your piece you google that and listen to it.

Nice piece. Very very vivid.

Dave

[O!]

Love the title .....chemicals!..sometimes its good to have a love like the one described here.....coz sometimes chemicals cause explosions!!

typo: serendipity

x,
O!