Within the Panes

Within the Panes

A Poem by Chloe..Across the Universe
"

from an image born

"
Look closely
the window panes
you will see me

I have been here
over two-hundred years
I have watched as the world
passed by

I, shrouded in my cloak,
the world passed me by
leaving me in a cloud of
polluted smoke

And I pity you
the inhabitants of this
world today
so much anguish,
suffering, pain

When we lived a simpler life
how much better this world was
no electricity
no telephone
no computers
no cars or planes

You don't believe me?
believe what you will
I pity you the inhabitants
of this world today

None of the high- technology
no nothing, nothing
will save you from the coming pain
that shall rain down upon you- reign



© 2010 Chloe..Across the Universe


Author's Note

Chloe..Across the Universe
Had some trouble with this one ... peace

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Reviews

Another poem where you view life from outside the human shell. Like something that has been there for ages, and pities us people of today, that would be trees as suggested by "within the window panes" which is wood.
I like the piece because of the mystery it presents with who is telling it. Nice write

Posted 13 Years Ago


I think this would sound phenomenal if spoken aloud and with the right emphasis.
It has great potential to stir those who come across it; you don't waste any words.
Excellent write. I look forward to reading more from you. ^-^

Posted 13 Years Ago


I like the emphasis of the last two lines. I agree totally. Technology is a double edged sword. Someday, we will all die by it, I fear. I really don't know the answer, but your poem was so thought-provoking:)

Posted 13 Years Ago


Chloe! You have given me goosebumps and a reminder to myself...one of these days we will run out of the easy-to-get oil and coal. Our lives, or the lives of our children will revert to the times of the past. I can only imagine that people will die from famine and wars...oh I hope that I am wrong but I cannot imagine another way, "nothing will save you from the coming pain". We are using up the worlds resources as such a fast pace, that something disastrous is bound to happen. Amazing writing!

Posted 13 Years Ago


I agree with you, completely. We have become so dependent on so many things that require no skill or even true effort. With each new technological advancemet, we lose a little more of the "human touch" ( which is why hand made gifts are my favorite :) The last stanza rings of truth and foreboding. You deliver and strong message and you deliver it with perfection. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I so hope you are wrong, but fear you are so right. I don't know if it is a getting older thing or just having more respect for the world. But it does seem the world just keeps spinning faster and faster and we are like on a treadmill running 5 mph and the treadmill is turning at 6 mph. For all of the incredible new discoveries and achievements, the worlds problems of starvation and poverty and destruction of the beautiful resources, just keeps getting worse. Sometimes you want to say, STOP. let me off please, I have seen enough.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I like the theme and the images of the ink. It certainly makes one think and ponder as to the existance of man and where it may fall in the future.

Stanza three.. "could?" I think you meant "cloud" in line 3. :)

Great Creativity from the eyes of the other world behind the glass.
Hugs!
Wolfie

Posted 13 Years Ago


I love the concept of the window panes. Such an ominous feel, and with good reason. Well done.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Very creative and intelligent... technology does have some great advantages but there are so many drawbacks to... it seems to eliminate jobs... depersonalize many daily actions and seems to make us lazier by the day with everyone looking for quick solutions to everything.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I like the expression of the world passing by as you look at it from the window panes...
well thought..

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on July 5, 2010
Last Updated on July 5, 2010

Author

Chloe..Across the Universe
Chloe..Across the Universe

Smalltown, USA, AR



About
Sometimes i feel like an alien in a strange land..can you relate? I love people and friends are just that to me , friends-if you request me as a friend it would be nice if you read something I have .. more..

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