Panic Overkill

Many times I wanted to give up 
Slit my wrist
Bleed out the pain
Drift into the white light

There were times when I cursed God
Asking, 'why , why, wasn't I good
 What did I do to deserve this
 Times when I cried so long 
 So hard that my tear ducts became
Dry ,Sahara until 
 There were no tears left

 How much more can I endure
I screamed into the silence
How much longer can I survive on this planet
 Where I feel an alien

You've taken my Mother
 My Father my home
What more do you want from me
 I have little, I am no one 
All I ask for is peace, love
All I get is chaos and hate
Enough to last a lifetime
An eternity
Hell?
This is hell
Daily eternal, infernal
Burning torment, pain

And then-
Panic
Became
My only
Friend
I could always count on her
She came to me in feminine form
I fought her, had some gain 
But as quick as it came
It seemed all in vain
Panic Overkill

Pain
Tears
Alienation
Doubts
Trials and tribulation
It's all in the Book of Revelations
I opened my book and read my life story
The good , the bad the few moments of glory
I gulped for air, clawed back up
'Ms. Panic', I have had enough'
My life
My life?
You have taken over

I enjoyed your company long enough 
I can't live with you forever
I prefer males, no offense
I prefer life, no offense
I would prefer
 No, I demand I insist that you pack your 
Suitcase
And
Go elsewhere
My home isn't big enough for you anymore

So.... goodbye I wish you well
No longer shall I dwell here in hell
With you
My old friend
You have over stayed your welcome
Besides-
Your company is wearing thin

Author's Note

an old poem i had written about panic and depression
i still have those panicky feelings
i still worry about everything and everyone
As the norm ... grammar , format, rhythm ect. is off

Reviews

[MuSe Ampoule]

Wow, this was great! Anyone who has ever lived through something horrific can relate that once that sort of pain, anger or panic grip your life...you spend many, many years dealing with panic that surges up from no where...residual stress that imprints in your mind and on your soul. You piece illustrates this masterfully. Great work!

[Cerebriation]

I love it! It's fantastic. The personification amazes me. Just remember, we have to step back and take a look at the grand scheme of things. We will never understand if we don't.......

[JENY]

It seems like an over pouring…
Of grief, despair and doubt….
That cause bleeding in the heart of reader….
Very touching narration of feelings….
That sprout and douse in one’s solitude…
Loved it so much…..

[An Ordinary Woman]

I like and admire your attitude. not whiny, just about conquering the problem- bidding it farewell. I need some of that in my life. Good job!

[pheasant]

Oozing with raw emotional power...
This one delves deep into despair
And digs back out... coming up for air
Reasoning it's way back using the sensibility of a logical mind
Pulling the plugs from the sockets of the null... and unwinds

[.]

love that you personify emotions..one of my favourite types of writing..and I understand when an emotions feeds on us, leeching the goodness out of us..loved it

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

It's great =D Such an honest heart felt poem - something I've no doubt many folk can understand too. It's a great ending, the fighting back and digging your heels in.

[Ladysue]

I love the determination in this piece...these lines speak it so well...

I prefer life, no offense
I would prefer
No, I demand I insist that you pack your
Suitcase
And
Go elsewhere
My home isn't big enough for you anymore

This piece shows a tremendous show of will and the struggle of how hard it is when things hit us hard...An excellent expression...

[Rossen]

This worry is your intelligence of forethought. Ignorance is still bliss,
with out you, The universe and I will forever mist

Rossen