Until Friday

It is only till Friday I say
Count the days
1-2-3-4-5-
His voice like an angel

Don't cry, I say
I will call every day
It hurts to speak
My trembling voice

Ring, ring, ring
Hello, yes, he is ready
Will be there shortly
His smug voice

Daddy's on his way
His eyes look into mine
I see the tears
His sea- blue eyes

His hand in mine
We walk outside
He watches each passing car
His sad boy eyes

There he is , I say
I feel his hand tighten
1-2-3-4-5-
His little boy voice

I love you, I say
I love you too
Five days?
His voice echoes

Five days, I say as they drive away

Reviews

[Serenity]

I love it, very well written

[**AngelicDemon**]

I really enjoyed this

[Rita L. Sev]

Enjoyed this - you told just enough here to hook the reader. I can feel the wistfulness in the speaker of "I love you..."

[Carrie Lyndwix]

ENJOYED IT ALOT! :)

[Robert James Parfett]

Really enjoyed this!

[skyelight]

Although I don't have really much of an idea as to what's going on you can hear the raw emotion through your words which is really good. Curious, what's the storyline?

[OTownPete]

Fleeting moments of closeness captured polaroid style and held closely til they pass once again.

[Miranda]

This has really great visuals in it and really tells a story! Great job! :)

[sirenribbon@thehptshirt..]

I am curious?? This flowed nice. Everything you write vibrates perspective...:)

[Penelope]

A very nice poem
Like the way it's divided and how it all flows nicely
Keep up the good work :)