The Final Fall

 

She called them the sad days

The wasted days

Hated days

Moving on days

 

He called them the hard days

The bad days

Sad days

Moving on days

 

She blamed him

Bloody men

Mental torture

Good riddance

 

He blamed her

Bloody women

No respect

Goodbye

 

She wanted love

Commitment

Wanted him

Needed him

 

He needed love

Needed space

Needed time

Wanted her

 

She couldn’t move on

Wouldn’t move on

Hated time

Hated him

 

He drank the bar

Numbed the pain

Saw the train

No need to explain

 

She took the call

Final fall

Found the pills

Ended it all.

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'The Final Fall
Paul Bell,
These are words that remind of the fact that life is not all sweetness and light for many of us. It also shows the need for love and how important it is. Neediness can become all encompassing too. Working one's way out is the goal but not always found. Hard to read.
Blessings,
kathy

[Paul Bell]

How you doing, Kathy. Yes, life is not always sweetness and light. If only couples took time to talk to each other.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

I find writing like this a good wake up call not to take people for granted!
Blessings Paul as you keep sharing
Kathy

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I think the plain language in this piece may make some think that it feels soulless, empty, methodical....but when I look into it, my soul cracks. It's like that hardened chocolate on the outside of ice cream ...it cracks...it comes of one lonely agonizing piece at a time. The richness of the chocolate is melted away and all you see is vanilla. I feel the fear here. I hear the torture of I don't deserve you. I know the misunderstanding of I can't love you cause I can't love me.I ve had the regret of not controlling it, being unable to save it...losing one...losing both. I'm babbling. This poem is packed full!

[Paul Bell]

Love is so powerful. Seems you can't live with it, you can't live without it. Together in heaven.

[barleygirl]

Nice short simple steps down the long painful staircase into oblivion. Your somewhat soulless staccato drumbeat makes it seem as if none of this nonsense has any real feeling . . . it's just empty, shallow, mechanical steps down a predicable path for any two people who do this dance of unthinking mind torment. The best part of your poem is the pacing. I didn't think it would go this far down, but when it did, it wasn't surprising -- a rubber stamp of how it goes in life as we watch people going down the staircase . . .

[Paul Bell]

Sad reality of love and life.

[Jane D]

You captured tragedy so well! The way each line was choppy gave such a large impact to the emotions of the reader.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Jane.

[aLittlePain]

So sad and full of hurt! It's is captured beautifully but leaves a heavy heart. R x

[Paul Bell]

Yeah, sure is a sad one.

[Lyn Anderson]

Deep, angry, sometimes relationships just suck, that is all.

[Paul Bell]

Not many words needed.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Very sad but often some relations end this way. Very beautifully put in words.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Shabeeh, where you been hiding.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Have been a but busy lately. Will try to be here more often.
It feels good to know that some one noticed. :)

[Marina]

He needed love
Needed space
Needed time
Wanted her

That says it all. Excellent work Paul.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Marina

[Lorry]

Sad words, perfectly capturing the pain that envelops us from what was once love.

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Nemo.

[Valentine]

If we give up on life, God may give up on us. There are more than one fish in the sea. Valentine

[Paul Bell]

Thanks Kathie.