Countdown Time.

Thursday the 15th, countdown time

For Chrissakes why can’t you get the cornflakes in the plate, how hard can it be. Naturally you’ll be expecting me to clean that up.

You could just leave them, refill for tomorrow.

So typical of you, you would live in s**t.

Do you fancy a coffee, or a calm, valium maybe.

You just think  I can pop something into my mouth, and wow, normal Jill.

Can you do that.

No you can’t you moron.

Would you like me to run you a bath.

We don’t have a bath.

Oh yeah, meant a shower.

Do I look incapable to you.

Is that a trick question.

Just keep out my way

Don’t you want to stay with your mum for a few days

Why the hell would I want to stay with my mum

Well, you're slightly nuts at this time of the month, and your mum’s just nuts all the time.

So, your logic is, all the nuts together.

You can see where I’m coming from

Why don’t you go and stay with my mum

I can’t, not after she saw me naked

I’m sure my mum has seen a naked man before

Not one trying to get into bed with her

And you say I’m nuts

See, you’re slightly laughing now

Don’t change the subject, why were you trying to get into bed with my mum.

You’ll laugh when I tell you.

Will I.

Yes, you’ll be killing yourself.

Swear to god, I’m going to kill you if you don’t tell me.

Well, it was your bad time two months ago when it happened.

Stop calling it my bad time.

Okay, that time when you’re not quite sane.

Now we can see why i’m not quite sane, so spit it out.

Well I came in drunk, and I sneaked into bed to surprise you.

You weren't naked were you.

Only from the head down.

That’s why my mum doesn’t visit now. Tell me you didn’t.

I couldn’t, i got into a fight with the guy i thought was sleeping with you.

My god, and you call me nuts. You are certifiable. Hold on a minute, my mum hasn’t had a guy since dad died. Are you making this up.

No, your mum swore me to silence, she was having a swingers party.

My sweet mum’s a swinger, i can’t believe it. Tell me none of the neighbours saw you leaving. In fact, i’m going round there now, give her a piece of my mind.

You do that love. I’ll get off to work.  

Can’t wait to see her face tonight. Wish i was a fly on the wall. Sure they’ll be laughing at this for a long time. I hope.

Reviews

[DIVYA]

She keeps today's cornflakes
As tomorrow's refill
He prances naked from head below
Till Jill bums out on pills
So tell me if you will
Who is madder - Paul or Jill?

Now he'll be a fly on the wall
And swinging momma won't like it at all!

I'm tryimg hard here Paul

[Paul Bell]

You're getting to good at this.
I feel the competition is heating up
Will DIVYA and Jill
Gang up on poor Paul
Sure that boy's heading for a fall
Such a nice boy too
Today, he's visiting Jill in the zoo.

[Marina]

The secrets when can unravel when one is a bit crazy. Hilarious Paul. This gotta be my favourite writing style of yours.

[Paul Bell]

Was trying to remember if you had some input in this.

[Marina]

No but it does sound like something we could co-write haha

[Paul Bell]

You sure this is mine.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

as the Stones sang..."what a drag it is getting old--i hear every mother say, mother needs something today to calm her down" oh that little yellow pill...and that surprise naked attack..

love this...sort of reminds me of the story poems of Robert Creeley...

j.

[Paul Bell]

You chose the perfect song, Jacob.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Paul, this slays!- Ha! Not Politically Correct but Perfectly Creative- and so funny! Love the conversational style- the clever repartee, the banter that keeps you guessing and laughing. "Only from the head down"- laughed out loud. Love this!

[Paul Bell]

Glad you liked it Annette. Is that you by any chance. I've still got the valium, calms. lol

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

No, too late for that-ha!:))

[Damien Ridge]

Had a few laughs, was hooked from the beginning! Felt a fun energy about it between the two characters. I enjoyed it quite a bit, thanks for sharing! Was good.

[Paul Bell]

You need a laugh on a Saturday morning, after a Friday night.

[Damien Ridge]

Indeed you do!