The Website

It was only fifty quid to join.
Looking For An Affair.
So is the girl next door.
What I could do with the girl next door.
Joined immediately.
Met big Mary the wrestler.
Lost that fight.
Moved onto Jill who told me it was such a thrill.
Told me her life story twice.
Rechecked website just to make sure I didn't get affair mixed up with affliction.
Third time lucky, met Jasmine, her husband didn’t understand her, fantastic I thought, now we’re talking. 
Three hours later we were still talking.
So double rechecked website just to see if I was due a counselling fee, complained no end to them.
Was promised immediate action, they would hook me up with sultry Sandra.
So anyway it was a real shock when I met the wife, who I certainly would’ve demanded an explanation, if a watertight alibi was at the ready.
The no wonder I need a woman cos you’re never around just didn’t seem appropriate at the time, and for once she was lost for words.
So anyway, we decided she would join another website.
I would take up counselling full time.

                                                                                             Merry Christmas to all on Writerscafe.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I love the entire switchback trail of this guy's dating experience described here . . . but I am partial to the first half becuz it's light & funny & relatable for me. The second half gets a little messy & complicated, which is the point where I usually check out *wink! wink!* Thanks once again for reminding why I stay free as a bird! I love the way you characterize each bizarre hookup (first half) in such simple terms yet delivering a volume of palpable stirrings from all the boneheads I've met online (tho never as desperate as to hit the online dating sites). You're giving me ideas about how I can someday try to encapsulate all my dead ends in snappy shorthand like this! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Paul Bell]

Oh, Margie I feel a dating poem coming on. lol

[49k_jdys]

This is so gorgeous and seedy and original and provocative. Lovely job!

[Paul Bell]

I know. It's trawling the depths.
But i think he's found his real position in life now. lol

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha i love it...great humor in disaster ... sorry... just gotta love it
buyer beware i guess is the best predisposition to have ..the irony is complete ... i am sure many if not all have been there done that
E.
ps i am rminded of this song:
https://youtu.be/HfWVn0GF48Q

[Paul Bell]

I blame the internet. It's just to easy to meet the wrong person. lol

[Einstein Noodle]

all the time...all the time :( tho the Cafe is not immune...i think that poets in writing have it in them to lean on honesty in every way ..so to present the best poetry and expression possible ..one of the reasons i love poets ..and this meeting place :) Happy New Year

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, i think i need full time counseling...

three ex wives later.
j.

[Paul Bell]

I think you've just gave me the script for a new poem, Jacob. Plus, all good things come in threes. Well apart from the alimony.

[Mrudula Rani]

Finally the much needed counseling happening!
(I don't mean you paul, you are perfect! ( except for the smoking) I ment the person in the poem!!!!!!

[Paul Bell]

I am the person in the poem. lol

[Mrudula Rani]

Oops!
No hard feelings!

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Whaaat?! Very funny Paul, had me going though. The web-world just suddenly got TOO small at the end and what a surprise! But if karma keeps bringing certain people together, no matter the sketchy circumstances, well......? Is it Kismet?? Ha! Happy Holidays to you and yours my friend!!

[Paul Bell]

It sure is, Annette. I now know a few wrestling holds.

[Ardra]

Heheh so hilarious :p
Paul... enjoy the holidays ;)

[Paul Bell]

You too, Galadriel. Come back good.

[Ardra]

i din't go anywhere :)

[Paul Bell]

In your mind. Come back good. lol

[Ardra]

heheeh too difficult :P to do tht