A Poem by Secondhand sunrise

All that I needed was a call from you.
My life crashed and I was left all alone.
In the end I asked myself, "where were you?
And why couldn't you have answered the phone?"

You were sleeping around with other guys,
I knew I was the one you should be with.
You thought that I'd always believe your lies.
Now that nothing's left, who are you left with?

Now you're on your way home, and all you found,
Was me. I was left lying on the floor.
There are notes that were left for you to find.
As you read one aloud you hit the floor.

I want you to know how much I miss you,
And only remember me loving you...

© 2013 Secondhand sunrise

Author's Note

Secondhand sunrise

My Review

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I really like the last two lines. Very poetic. Did he commit suicide? If it's not about a real event, I think supposed suicide of the writer a little tacky. If it wasn't based on a real event than perhaps just a note, and not him on the floor. To be honest, that kind of turned me off. It was based on a real event, you should've mentioned it.

Other than that, it was a very nice poem and story. I really liked the emotion in it.

Posted 4 Years Ago

Secondhand sunrise

4 Years Ago

It was more of the emotions from a real event. The man in the poem did commit suicide, but I see wha.. read more

4 Years Ago

Perhaps play more on the emotion of the event as opposed to the event itself. That might get rid of .. read more

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1 Review
Added on August 15, 2013
Last Updated on August 15, 2013


Secondhand sunrise
Secondhand sunrise

I'm new here. I'll try to be honest with your work if your honest with me. Im happily married and am super excited to have a little girl on the way. And am writing my first novel. So "tune in, tune ou.. more..