A Poem by Secondhand sunrise

Trap it in a picture,
And keep it forever,
In your pocket or on a wall,
But never your hand.

© 2013 Secondhand sunrise

My Review

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I like the first two lines. And the third is okay, but I think the last sets the mood off
I think if you had left it at the third line it would be a nicer read. The style isn't all that's important, but I like the idea of ending it on "In your pocket or on a wall." Or even simply "In your pocket" might have sounded nice.

I really like the concept of this piece, and I like how it is what it is and you didn't feel like it needed more so you left it at what it was. I appreciate that a lot. Sometimes the best pieces are the simplest ones. My favorite poem is one verse long, too.

I like the idea. They capturing time in a picture to keep. Coming from one who has HORRIBLE memory, I love pictures. They allow me to keep my memories so I don't lose them. I take A LOT of pictures of almost everything. So much people would think it ridiculous so I love the idea of the poem.

And it's not like I don't like the last line. I think it's a good line and it fits the poem... I just personally like it better without it. I don't know if it's absolutely needed. But sometimes a poem has more than is needed because it's about what you want to say, not what I want to read. :)

M. Super

Posted 5 Years Ago

Secondhand sunrise

5 Years Ago

I have a horrible memory to. I'm glad that you liked it. I will have to take your suggestions into c.. read more
time can never be trapped. It goes to quickly before we know it tomorrow is here. good write

Posted 5 Years Ago

Secondhand sunrise

5 Years Ago

Time does go to quickly. I'm glad you appreiciate the idea.

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2 Reviews
Added on August 15, 2013
Last Updated on August 15, 2013


Secondhand sunrise
Secondhand sunrise

I'm new here. I'll try to be honest with your work if your honest with me. Im happily married and am super excited to have a little girl on the way. And am writing my first novel. So "tune in, tune ou.. more..