Death of a Dream

  

Just when does it hit you,

Just how do you know?

You are driving the streets,

And along comes the blow.

 

Just thinking about him,

The light bulb goes green.

You can see with a flash

What a fool you have been.

 

The clues were before you,

There was never a lie.

You just chose not to see them,

You let out a sigh.

 

Your heart breaks in two

And you ask yourself why

The dreams that you have

Seem destined to die?

 

His love may be real,

His heart may be true,

But, alas, in the end,

He does not belong to you.

 

Your tears start to fall

Like rain on the wheel.

Your gut feels the punch

As your world starts to reel.

 

You can’t help but love him,

For you there’s no choice.

You long only to hold him,

Hear the comfort of his voice.

 

But life is not easy,

And seldom is fair.

You had the chance, years ago

Your love to declare.

 

And so the dream dies,

Your world seems to fall.

Nothing you can do.

Time to rebuild the wall.

Reviews

[Adrian K. Smith]

This was a rather tough piece to read, sensing the difficulty and the maturity to have reached such a decision. I suppose there is a reason I started playing music louder and louder while driving, trying to chase away any epiphanies I might have while driving. They always seem to be the truths that stand the test of time, perhaps it is something about the process of driving that allows our minds to work in such a manner.

That love exists, does not mean that love need be pursued. It is such a hard decision to come by and to stick by and to try to live by. I have never really found myself quite able to do it - it is always some quick traumatic event that severs the ties or I appear to set about trying to destroy the feeling, simply not able to handle it.

When dreams die, the world is a sadder place...but life goes on, and other dreams may be born.

[KairifulSorrow]

wow this is really good... i like poetry too. i wrote a few pieces myself but nothing like this... i like at the beginning where you ryhmed green with been like as the e's in ee. it was creative.

[Adela Muresan]

This makes me think about some of my missed chances...
It has a great flow, and it reflects a very deep and emotional truth ---> I like :D.

A.M.

[^_^KiTTeN^_^]

This is a beautiful poem. It's really deep, and one of the best pieces I have read in a long time. You have real talent.

[Chuck]

"Your tears start to fall
Like rain on the wheel.
Your gut feels the punch
As your world starts to reel."

This might sound strange, but I feel like there should be music here. This stanza will stick with me for a long time.

By the way, I think you are so talented!

[Emily Rose]

A good idea that you present quite well in rhyme. You go through the whole process very clearly and your emotions carry through with ease. Good job! My only suggestion is that the line "always seems destined to die" feels a little clunky since it throws off the great rhythm you've set up. I would recommend deleting the "always" so it'll flow better. Great job!