Grounded

Realization about one's inner self at a time when all hopes are lost

 

“……….I can’t breathe!!! Someone……..anyone…..help me!!! Please help me get out of here!!......”

My eyes burst open. It’s so dark I can barely focus on anything; my heart pounding against my rib cage, my breaths fast and shallow. A light breeze brushes against my moist skin bringing back sense into me. My pupils gradually adapt to the darkness and silhouettes of familiar objects come into view. Of course it is my room, my home! And I have been dreaming. This has now become a regular phenomenon.

I sit up. My lips are parched, my throat dry! I turn towards the bedside table and reach out for the glass of water I religiously keep every night before going to bed. I drink the water patiently, almost tracing its route down to my stomach.

I lay back on the bed staring up at the ceiling. The curtains dangle gracefully to the rhythm of the breeze, letting in blotches of light from the street tridents. Although calmer than before, I fail to settle in. I shift in bed uneasily. Something doesn’t feel right. The restlessness unnerves me. The dream had been too overpowering, I realize that. But the elements never really show up once I am awake. Not even a fraction of it! Therefore like always, I brush it aside putting all the blame on my work. This is definitely not something I should stay up worrying about. So to distract myself I start skimming through my phone. A few Facebook notifications and a couple of emails show up in the upper left corner as tiny icons. Just then, a new notification pops up on my home screen. From TOI (Times of India).

It reads:

‘Earthquake of 7.9 intensity strikes Nepal. Massive destruction and casualties suspected. The government has declared a nation-wide state of emergency.’

7.9 on the Richter scale is colossal!!! A catastrophe of this caliber will transform the Himalayan country to ghost town. As I read through the details of the news, haunting images of buildings collapsing, crushing countless people inside, roads cracking open, vehicles toppling, and  panic-stricken residents running on to the streets, flood my head……. And I doze off…….

The silence of the night is broken by mild tremor…..or so I dream…..!!!

The noise of dogs barking in the distance float into my ear. Somewhere in the alleyway maybe….and then a sharp outcry!

I spring up, baffled. The scream comes again, only this time longer. In no time, mayhem breaks out.

 

I turn on the light and rush to the window. As I look out, to my disbelief, I see the apartment building in front of mine tilt to one side……and before I can even bat an eyelid it starts crumbling down like a pack of cards!!!!!!

I freeze. This can’t be happening. I must be sleeping. This is just a very bad dream! It will pass. Just then a violent tremor shakes the ground below thrusting me to the floor against the bookshelf which starts rattling vigorously throwing books all over before crashing down on me. I feel a sharp pain on my head and back. Ignoring the impact, I crawl out of the mass and scurry under the bed.

I lay on my chest, resting my chin on arms crossed in front; panting…. The room gradually fills up with concrete dust making it difficult to breathe. Cupboards crash on the floor, window frames smashing against each other; a sight to haunt me for days to come. Of course if I survived….which seems very unlikely under the given circumstances.

My eyes fleet towards the doorway, my mind frantically trying to conjure up an escape plan. It is clear. As of now. Since the house is one-storied, and my room happens to open into the hallway, it would take less than a minute to be out in the open. And from where I lay, the hallway was mostly in view. All I have to wait for is the right moment to make the move.

But alas such is not to happen. The continuous shaking of the ground is beyond what the roof could take in and before my eyes, the ceiling in the hallway caves in bringing the walls down with it……….thus blocking the exit and extinguishing my chance to escape.

I am trapped, I realize.

There is very little left I could do now to save myself. Just wait for death to come and take me or a rescue team if I’m lucky enough.

Life is precious. And it is during such crisis that we release the true worth of life. We all complain about life, about how unjustly we have been treated, about how our little needs have not been met, about how happiness is like a mirage and sorrow is all that there is. Amidst all our misery, we often forget that life in itself is a blessing. In this big world, I’m too inconspicuous. One life cut short in a population of billions does not count. But one life is all I have!!! And to me and those I belong to, it counts very much!!

Giving up, even in the face of death, is never an option. Life is always worth fighting for!

The floor starts cracking open. I tightly hold on to the leg of the bed, wriggling away from the cracks. Soon the cracks coalesce to form a gaping hole in the center of the room, pulling objects inside it….

I tremble, my grip loosening out of exhaustion and pain. Tears well up in my eyes; blurring vision. I realize that death is inevitable now. It is just a matter of moments before I would be wedged inside the ground to be buried alive.

There is hardly any air left in the room to breathe, just clouds of concrete dust. My lungs choke making me all the more vulnerable. My head throbs in pain, my cheeks wet with warm tears, cuts and bruises covering most of my shoulder and arms. Failing to put up with reality, I close my eyes; the courage with which I struggled so far is slowly ebbing, making me fragile, susceptible. The ray of hope that kept me going for so long has begun to flicker; the thought of defeat dampening my morale.

The shaking stops. I look around from under my refuge. All movements stall. Is it over??! Is there still a possibility I can survive??!! After so much, it is hard to believe. With stacks of concrete piling on it, the bed would give in any moment now. I cannot stay here for long. I need to look for a safer refuge. I wait. For some more time. And then as deftly possible, I slither out of my hideout. Every corner of whatever remained of this room is consumed in darkness; there is no way to figure out what lay ahead. I use my arms and legs to feel…….and BANGGGG…!!! My feet hit the side of the bed…..and it comes crumbling down on my legs!!!!

A sharp agonizing pain followed by complete numbness. I pass out!

Minutes pass, or maybe hours….it’s difficult to tell.

I hear a muffling sound in the distance…..nothing clear.

Birds chirping??!

No….

People talking maybe???

Doesn’t appear so….

Opening my eyes seems like a task....my eyelids too heavy and sore. I try to move my body but…..oucchhhh!!!!!!!!!!! An excruciating pain engulfs me…..

I have been pinned to the ground! I remember. And with that my body goes numb again….. I couldn’t make it…I might be dead already…

Just some distance away, where the window used to be, a streak of daylight sneaks in through the wreckage……widening….more and more…as my vision blurs away……