Sweet Remembrance

A poem written about my old horse who had to be sold.

 

Be it a cool, brisk autumn’s day,
Or springtime with flowers blooming,
You would greet me with a soft neigh,
And would stand still for your grooming

In the winter you trod onward,
Through the deep, icy, white snow banks.
Your ears pricked to my every word,
As snow cascaded down your flanks.

But you adored the summer best;
You’d canter and gallop with glee,
We’d ride the trails, you’d need no rest,
I knew we were friends; you and me.

But time went fast and then one day
When all the seasons took their course,
I could not see or hear you neigh;
I miss you, Casper, my dear horse.
 

Reviews

[Jonathan Ballam]

Poets like Tennyson and Browning come to mind when I read this. I enjoyed the skillful ending that you employed, however I would suggest that look at you two aspects:

The first is 'flowers blooming' which tends to be more of a cliche and can be seen in many books. The second is 'snow cascading' which may be orginal, but using an -ing word isn't specific enough for the reader. If you do remove 'ing' your words like cascade and bloom sudden become far more present and instant.

Unfortunately if you do decide to edit it may mean that you'll have to relook the rhyme structure in the poem. With that aside I still enjoyed readin this, you have some great ideas ;)

[Tate Morgan]

As a lifetime horseman I can say as many would not know that horses have unique ways and personalities.And one thing we do not they run with the wind

[Antonio Valentino]

What a great poem, I bet he was a wonderful horse. Glad I got to read this.

Antonio

[The Analog Kid]

Sweet poem. The timeless special connection between man and beast. The last stanza, while it is cute, is powerful. Keep writing!

Patrick

[nostal]

That last line was as powerful as a wall of steel.
What added to the effect, was that i was listenign to 'Dancing in the Dark' while readin this.

[amandamercer`xo]

aww, cass!
i love it :)
i miss casper too...

[theunknownchick]

Aww thats beautiful :D♥

[Cassandra D.]

Aw!
This is a wonderful, beautiful poem you've written here.
(I'm sorry your horse was sold away.)

[Samantha Guerin]

awwww!! So cute and endearing! You can tell that you loved him! Nice use of ryhme, it rocks! You have a knack for poetry if i do say so myself :D .................................................................................................. Keep it up!