Friend

A little girl makes a new friend.

 

"I like it here in the new house, don't you? How long have you been here?" The little girl toyed aimlessly with the blonde pigtails of her doll. "I used to live in a smaller house, but daddy is rich now so we got a biiiggg house!" She smiled a bright young smile, happy to be in her large, well-lit room. "His boss gave him a bunch of money and now we have a shiny red car, and the big house, and I have you too. It's dark outside now so I can't go out and play, so I just have to play with you! I'm glad I found you under the bed you know, so I'll give you a name. I'll call you Helen"

"Honey?" A voice from the other side of the door echoed. "It's dinner time, who are you talking to?"

"Helen, momma, I found her today!"

"Alright, just wash up. No dirty fingernails tonight."

"Okay Momma! I'm hungry...are you hungry?"



It smiled from under the bed.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Christina Harper: Sitti..]

I agree with Tee-o. It's evil to grab my attention like that and then leave me hanging. I think it was great, though. But, I do have a suggestion. The line starting, "I used to live in a smaller house..." would flow a little better when you read it if you started a new paragraph right there. But it's just my opinion. Good job though! I liked the simplicity of it.

[Marie]

Very interesting piece, in a good way. Thank you for sharing.

[Dezaraye]

Ooooh, wow. There has to be more to this story! I love this. The dialogue is perfect. Lovely.

[Angie- Reading As Fast ..]

Creepy... You gave me goose bumps in just about 30 seconds of reading... ew..

[Silvia - Scribo, Ergo S..]

hhahahahahaha .... I�m glad I know that one of my dogs always sleeps under the bed! Otherwise I�d be tempted to keep checkng what might be hiding under there ... xxx

[Rie Sheridan Rose]

Lol -- I wrote a story using that same picture for a contest at horrorfind. :) I like your take on it. This is an interesting little piece. Well done.

[Roberta Weth]

I love this, short simple and adorable until the end which just confirms my belief that the world will be destroyed by children.... small adorable children with their demonic, toys and big glowing soulless eyes.
I wish you good luck in the contest I totally voted for you :)

[Norma J. Jessee]

Very good ! ! ! You certainly have my attention. I really loved how you have built up the tension and then left me hanging to make " It" whatever my mind could conjur up. Very good. I love the suspense of this piece. Thriller's and Suspense are my kind of reading. Love it. Keep up the great work.

[James K. Blaylock]

A very wonderfully creepy little tale, I just adore it! Good luck on the contest, you got my vote.
Keep up the great writes.

It smiled from under the bed.

[Nannette LaRee~]

Okay, writer-boy...I just have afew questions; 1)how old is Helen? 2) why is she still in the big house? 3)why was she found under a bed? 4)is Helen a Good Force or a Bad Force? Obvioulsy everyone who has read this wants to know MORE. That is your power as the writer, you cna take this anywhere you want, but I agree with Tee-O WE NEED MORE!!!!!!!!!!! Nannette LaRee (previously from Dallas, Texas!) :)

[Lyra Day]

Its 2am... and I just glanced at my bed and wondered what was under it..