Ether

My taxi got stuck in the evening traffic on Singapore’s Orchard Road so I gave the cabbie a solid tip and proceeded on foot. Slightly out of breath, I walked up the stairs of the Raffles Hotel and into its famous Long Bar. My friend Arthur was sitting with a cold Tiger Beer in hand and talking animatedly into his phone.

I sat down and ordered a Singapore Sling which by the way was first created in this very bar in 1915. I grinned at Arthur who gesticulated that he was trying to finish up his call. I looked around and took in the wonderful ambience of the place. Named after the founder of Singapore, Sir Stamford Raffles and immortalized in the novels of Rudyard Kipling and Somerset Maugham, the Raffles Hotel just breathes heritage. The elegant stateliness of the old mansion with its British Colonial style furnishings makes it more legend than a hotel.

We were seated in low rattan sofas on dark hardwood flooring and from the high ceiling, authentic Diehl fans produced a soft humming noise while their blades cut through the air. The walls were filled with displays of globes and telescopes. We were looking out through shuttered French windows onto a wide veranda with teak lounge chairs. The sound of crickets chirping in the cool night outside made the tropical mood complete.

Arthur is a large, bald man and as usual, he was dressed like he just came back from a week in the outback. He moved to Singapore a year ago with his wife and three children after a four-year stint in the moist heat of Chennai, India. Addicted to expat life, the couple has sworn never to return to their roots in cold, wet Belgium, which is also my home country. Arthur and I go back a long way and feel at ease with each other, without the need for a lot of words.

Our plan was to head out to the Esplanade in Marina Bay near the mouth of the Singapore River, where Australian rock band Tame Impala were scheduled to do a live gig. On an impulse, I had bought the tickets online that morning at twice the face value because Arthur and I both love the band’s psychedelic sound which blends rock with dreamy melodies.

The band’s off-the-wall personality is reflected in their name which refers to an impala, an African antelope known for its typical nervousness and capable of jumping up to three meters in the air when startled. Tame Impala then points to the one unvexed specimen grazing the savanna, which lets you come closer and make real contact. Pretty cool name for a crew of talented musicians who project a maturity beyond their young age.

As if brought on by my thinking, I heard a TV voice saying: “Although very weak, she will attend tonight’s performance of Tame Impala by special invitation of the band.”

My interest triggered, I looked up at the large LCD screen above the bar and recognized the portrait of Michelle, the young girl who recently became the nation’s symbol of suffering and hope. Everyone knows her as the sweet seventeen-year- old which has been on the waiting list for a heart transplant for four months now.

The entire population of South-East Asia has been following her story ever since she collapsed on stage on national television. That fateful evening, Michelle was performing a violin solo as the Singapore nominee for the widely popular Asian Youth Orchestra competition for best classical performer under eighteen.

When she had entered the stage, she walked with confidence, head up high. Her long black hair framed her delicate face and she radiated the sophistication that came with a privileged and classical upbringing.   

The image of the elegant soloist in black evening dress giving her very best to Paganini’s Caprice No. 4 and then suddenly passing out on the podium has been burned in the collective memory of millions of viewers.

When it happened, it had taken a long twenty seconds before the entire orchestra finally stopped playing and then there was nothing but an eerie silence. A general awareness took hold of the audience that this was not just the harmless fainting of a young woman under the glaring heat of spotlights. A few drops of blood had poured from her nostrils and a TV camera zoomed in before the editor decided this was too intrusive. The camera moved to take on a more discrete angle but the close-up of the blood on the wooden floor remained fixed on the audience’s retinas.

The seriousness of her condition was soon confirmed by a doctor in the audience who established heart failure as a diagnosis and gestured that emergency transportation was needed ASAP. The audience held its breath, fearful of losing a talented young soul representing the best of the nation.

TV stations continued their live broadcasting while Michelle was evacuated by helicopter to the Singapore National Heart Centre with ever more viewers tuning in throughout Asia as the word spread. Several international news crews including CNN and CNBC, who had been covering Singapore’s parliamentary elections, switched focus and followed in her wake. They set up camp right across the hospital’s front entrance and made sure also the Western world became aware of Michelle’s affliction.

Once the cardio team had stabilized her, it emerged that Michelle’s coronary artery was so dangerously narrowed that her heart function had dipped to just twelve per cent and her blood pressure had sunk to a near-lethal level. It was nothing short of a miracle that she had not fallen into a coma when she lost consciousness on stage. The hospital had her hooked up to the heart-lung machine which immediately started pumping blood round her body.

That had been four months ago. Michelle had regained consciousness two days after the collapse but had remained very weak ever since. From day one, she had been on the transplant list with top priority status A1, reserved for the critically ill. Any matching donor heart is offered first to a patient with that designation but while in the US and Europe the average waiting time is four months, in Singapore it is double that. Too few donor hearts are available on the island city-state and as a consequence, more than forty percent of patients do not survive the wait for a heart. This cruel statistic has been quoted in the news almost on a daily basis since Michelle’s breakdown and has triggered wide public indignation.

Obtaining a healthy matching heart for Michelle had proven impossible so far. On three occasions the South-East Asia Transplant Network came close. The first potential donor tested positive for cocaine, however, and the second showed signs of hepatitis C. The most recent donor case had raised hopes but close investigation of the living cadaver showed the victim had not only suffered a head injury but also a chest trauma with evidence of cardiac damage, so again a no go. That was three weeks ago.

Since then each day came and went without donor news and Michelle’s condition deteriorated to a point where her doctor told the public to hope for the best but expect the worst. He stated his patient had only the smallest possible window for survival with a life expectancy of less than a week without a transplant.

The image on TV now switched to Tame Impala’s lead singer who explained in Aussie-speak that the band came to know that Michelle liked their music and they had invited her to attend that night’s concert if her condition would allow. He had spoken to Michelle on the phone two days ago and she had confirmed she would love to be there.

Then Michelle’s cardiologist came on and stated that his patient’s condition was rated as extremely severe and only a last-minute donor heart could mean the difference between life and death. Yet, there were no signs that a match could be found in the coming hours. Therefore, he would respect Michelle’s wish to be present at the concert that evening and he would be there right at her side. 

The specialist spoke in a matter-of-fact tone as if this kind of thing occurred on a daily basis. And it probably did with many patients who were not in the public eye and had to suffer their fate in silence. In any case, his words sent shivers down my spine.

I looked around me in the Long Bar and absolutely everybody was motionless with eyes fixated on the screen. Clearly, my peers here were also in awe by the events unfolding and we felt strangely connected by this harsh confrontation with the fragility of life.

It was very hard to believe that science or money could not save the life of this precious young girl. Even that very morning, the CEO of Singapore Telecom had pledged their corporate jet to fly in a healthy heart from anywhere within a six-hour radius, which was the maximum time a donor heart would remain viable. But without a last-minute match, that plane would stay where it was on the tarmac of Changi International Airport. It felt as if a higher force wanted to show who ultimately had the power.

When the news anchor finally changed topics, Arthur and I discussed what to do next. We both had mixed feelings about tonight. We wanted to go to the concert because we had tickets to see one of our favorite bands play live. But the last thing we wanted was to be voyeurs, selected by fate to witness up close the very delicate situation of this young girl on the verge of dying. We both wanted to do the respectful thing but it was hard to figure out what that was.

In the end, we decided to go to the concert because we wanted to be united with other people wishing that this would end well. Maybe the massive public support would give Michelle the strength to hang on another day.  

The event hall, nicknamed the Durian as the twin structures with the thousands of spike protuberances  resemble the pungent national fruit of Singapore, was already filled to the rim when we arrived. We wrestled our way through the crowd to our designated places right in the middle of the arena. We watched in silence as up front, near the podium, an area was cleared by security and a medical team took their places.  

Michelle was brought in on a special bed, hooked up to an intimidating amount of medical equipment, just five minutes before the concert started. Her face was projected briefly on two huge screens. She looked incredibly frail and vulnerable yet somehow she managed a faint smile and waved briefly at the camera as if she wanted to say thanks for having her here. 

A surge of emotion went through the audience and her name started reverberating through the large hall. Not loud but rather like a thousand whispers converging into one, as if the joint human presence here knew exactly how to pay tribute to this sacred moment and this brave girl, hanging on to life.

Tame Impala opened with a subdued statement: “Good evening Singapore and a special welcome to Michelle. We in the band hope you will enjoy this concert tonight.”

The two large screens projected only the stage as the band performed the first three songs of their set. Gradually the crowd eased into the evening and seemed to forget about the special guest. Then suddenly the musicians stopped playing and the lead singer gently made the crowd go quiet and said, facing the hospital bed: “Michelle, you told us that Let It Happen is your favorite song and we want to dedicate it to you tonight”.

It took a moment for the crowd to take this in. The lyrics of the band’s signature song Let It Happen and its typical effervescent sound make it a spiritual, almost hallucinatory piece. Its meaning centers on accepting personal transition in a world of chaos: it does not help to resist, it takes more energy to shut it all out than it does to let it happen.

In any non-life-or-death situation, that wisdom makes perfect sense. But projected onto Michelle’s predicament, this triggered deep concern. ‘Let it happen’ as in do not resist and surrender to dying? Surely, this is not what the band meant? This was either completely inappropriate or completely right.

A murmur went through the crowd as people speculated whether Michelle wanted to give them a message here tonight. Or was this song just the personal favorite of a teenager enjoying a very special night out?

The song started and soon the crowd was overwhelmed by a massive wall of synth sound filling the music hall with an exceptional cosmic ambience and magical vocoder harmonies. 

The screens now projected the face of Michelle who seemed to be crying softly with her eyes closed. She apparently had difficulty breathing which was painful to watch. But then near the end of the song, she opened her eyes and her face lit up. She smiled and seemed at peace.

When people move together through a challenging situation into a higher emotional state, their collective awareness starts resonating at a higher frequency range. Upon seeing Michelle smile, such vibration of increased consciousness rippled through the crowd. People were confused and upset but at the same time moved beyond words and hopeful. They wanted so much to be reassured that this was a good thing, that Michelle was feeling the love and there was still time and a way to save her. 

Surely she would not just vaporize like ether in open air, although there was no denying it felt like that. 

Suddenly, the doctor next to her bed was seen taking Michelle’s pulse and shining a light into her pupils. He then gave urgent instructions to his medical team and the bed was rushed out of sight. A couple of minutes later a helicopter was heard taking off and then it was shown on the two screens, speeding away. The audience was in disarray.  

The cameras switched back to the band’s lead singer who spoke in a soft voice: “Ladies and gentlemen, we will pray for Michelle the only way we know how to.”

With that, an acoustic version of The Moment washed over the audience and people spontaneously took each other’s hands. It seemed like a very natural thing to do so I took the hand of Arthur on my right and of a young woman on my left side. We did not look at each other but just stood there until the song was over. I think each of us prayed to his or her personal God. That is the moment I will remember most of that tragic evening.

After a sleepless night, I boarded the first riverboat taking off from Clarke Quay where Singapore River starts to cut through the heart of the city. I took deep breaths of fresh morning air and felt alive. I also felt privileged and somehow wizened by the events of the evening before. I mostly wanted to be alone on the water to contemplate the meaning of what happened after Michelle was evacuated from the Esplanade concert theater. 

Yes, Michelle did pass away during her helicopter transfer to the hospital. Her weak heart finally gave up in mid-air. Nothing the doctors could do. 

And after her family had said their goodbyes, Michelle’s vital organs were harvested because she carried a donor card. 

Social media this morning showcased last night’s concert and Michelle’s presence there but most of all, they were all over the fact that five people during the night had gotten a new lease on life, one of them a seven year old Australian girl who played the violin and received one of Michelle’s lungs.

Yes, Michelle did abandon her last resistance but she did it on her own terms. And that the world will not forget.

Author's Note

Reworked draft. Thanks for all reviews!

Reviews

[Serge Wlodarski]

Great story. Reminded me of an encounter I had as a teenager with Singapore Slings. You said it is a draft but the structure does not need any changes. Feel free to obsess over the details of grammar if you like, I have found that is a good way to kill time.

[Philip Muls]

Funny feedback!

[Emily]

Really liked it!
Keep on writing!!

[wordman]

great story my friend,has a mystery to it

[Philip Muls]

Thank you!

[Taylor]

Hi Philip, Thanks for sending along the read request. I'm going to try to do a detailed review followed by overall impression in the hope that that focus will be more helpful.
1) "My taxi got hopelessly stuck" -- just an opinion but "stuck" is stuck; no need for "hopelessly."
2) "Slightly out of breath, I walked up the stairs of the Raffles Hotel and into its famous Long Bar where I saw my friend Arthur sitting with a cold Tiger Beer, talking animatedly into his phone." -- I think this would be better as two sentences. "Slightly out of breath, I walked up the stairs of the Raffles Hotel and into its famous Long Bar. My friend, Arthur, was sitting with a cold Tiger Beer and talking animatedly into his phone."
3) "My friend Arthur is a large...." - no need to repeat "my friend." You've already established that.
4) " Michelle was a striking figure when she had entered confidently on stage with her long black hair and the delicate features so typical of Singaporean girls "--The construction of this sentence is awkward. Perhaps something like: "When she entered the stage, she walked with confidence. Her long black hair framed her delicate face and she reminded me of countless Singaporean girls.
5) "TV stations continued their live broadcasting while Michelle was evacuated by helicopter to the Singapore National Heart Centre with ever more viewers throughout Asia tuning in as the word spread." This seems odd to me -- did she have a history of heart disease? Otherwise, wouldn't she just be taken to the emergency room until the diagnosis was made that her condition was heart-related?
6) "In the end, we did call a taxi to take us to the venue because ...." -- I think this would be stronger if you just say, "In the end, we decided to go...."
7} "this brave girl hanging on to dear life." -- I cannot explain why but "dear life" seems to me to trivialize what is actually going on -- maybe because it's a cliché. I think simply "hanging on to life" would suffice and perhaps be more poignant.
8) "In a world of chaos, it does not help to resist, it takes more energy to shut it out than it does to let it happen." -- Are these words to the song? If so, they should be set aside -- perhaps on their own line and indented from the body of the story or at least italicized.strong as this one here tonight.
9) " strong as this one here tonight." - the story is written in past tense, so unless you're quoting someone, this should be "strong as this one was that night."

General Impression: This is a remarkable, tender story told with sensitivity and eloquence. You have woven many threads together -- the issue of transplant donors, the fragility of life, our common bond, the transcendent effect of art on the soul, the naturalness of death and the propensity each death holds within it for new life. Well done, inspired. Thank you for sharing it.

[Philip Muls]

Taylor, many thanks for detailed feedback, I appreciate it!

[Ruth]

This really touched my heart...you ability to articulate so viscerally the surroundings, emotions, feelings and so forth is palpable Philip...reading your stories always makes me think long after reading them...this is so detailed and intricate...amazing :)

[Philip Muls]

Thank you, your words mean a lot to me

[Richard Patrick]

It was very good to read, I wish there was a way to make organs more accessible to the people who truly need them aside from the ones, who can buy them. There should be a world wide organ bank, to allow those who need the organs to gain them with out so much paperwork for it to be processed. It was a great read.


Could you check out "The Pro" by yours truly. If you would not mind that is.

[barleygirl]

The strongest aspect of your storytelling is that you include every detail needed for anyone to understand the sequence of events, all arranged in perfectly flowing order. Those who know nothing of this situation would understand completely, while those who are already familiar would not be bored by your explanations, but most probably would find out something further they didn't know (your explanations are so thorough).

This piece has a more conversational tone to it, than the other more business-like essays I've read of yours. You do employ an admirable vocabulary of hundred-dollar words here, but not to the point of making the piece sound stilted & unapproachable. The next strongest aspect of your storytelling is that you bring in & carefully explain a wide variety of related or background details that most people have no idea about. These plentiful details reflect your knowledge of the world, but not sounding hoity-toity like you think of yourself as the puffed-up world traveler. There's a certain quiet modesty in the way you share your experiences, things most people never even aspire to in life, such that your personality comes across as very approachable.

The story itself is very remarkable. I believe we are honored, as writers, when we experience something so rare & interesting -- both newsworthy & also with a spiritual lesson to impart. You've done justice to this gift, approaching it as the special blessing that it is, & sharing it in a way that shows your generosity of heart both for the now-deceased Michelle & also toward your reading audience. Stories like this let those of us see the world, when we don't have the money or the physical ability to do so.

[Philip Muls]

Thank you for nuanced feedback barleygirl, this is valuable and meaningful to me. The story is fiction but I am glad reviewers seem to take it as non-fiction. That is my aim.

[barleygirl]

That this is fiction makes it even more mind-blowing! Hats off to you, my friend!

[alanwgraham]

What a moving and emotional story! You have written it up extremely well with great description of the locations involved and shown great writing skill. Well done! I presume the story is true and i look forward to checking it out - and the music!
Thanks for your friend request. I must have a look at more.
Alan

[Philip Muls]

Thanks Alan!

[alanwgraham]

Just listened to the Tame Impala piece Let it happen and the video on youtube -brilliant!
Alan

[Bear]

Critique: (where I saw my friend Arthur sitting with a cold Tiger Beer) This is going to sound silly but you should add the words "in hand"
(We were looking out through tall shuttered French windows on to) onto
(In an impulse) On an impulse
(The hospital hooked her up on to the heart-lung machine) her up to the
(Michelle’s condition had now deteriorated up to a point where) deteriorated to a

Review: A very powerful and emotionally moving work of literature that spotlights the great need for organ donors worldwide. Your articulation is outstanding and the story line is so intriguing it will linger long in my thoughts. Memories reawakened reading of Raffles Hotels long bar and my introduction to the Singapore Sling when I was there in 1979, never had a decent Sling since. Five out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Philip Muls]

Thank you Bear for detailed critique and kind review. Glad it moved you.

[Bear]

I loaded it on my text to speech program and listened to it a second time and enjoyed it just as much the second time as I did the first :~)

[Dayran]

You tell a great story Philip. It captures the essence of the moment and takes the ordinary to a new level of awareness. Every life matters and its certainly not alone in the way it connects with everything else in the life of the world. Well done.