"Pretty Raven Haired Girl"

A poem I wrote for a girl that, i'm going through stuff with. It was inspired by Anis Mojgani's "Pretty Blonde Girl".

Pretty raven haired girl on the bus, where are you going?
I'll get off there if you want me to.
Take me and hide me from this world, i'll never come from under your finger nails.
We can hide together in the sanctity of the heart i've never had.
And when it shines outside, we'll play in the roses.
If you come across a thorn, we can change skins, so you don't have to feel the pain.
Run under my tongue when it rains.
And hope that it never stops pouring.
We'll buy an apartment.
With a bedroom, and a bed.
A bed big enough for us to show eachother what love is.
A window big enough for us to show the world what love is.
Shades dark enough to hide it in secrecy.
Pretty raven haired girl with the pretty eyes.
Do you see what I see.
Do you hear what I see.
Do you see what I hear.
Does your heart beat like thunder.
Do hurricanes shake your rib cage when you think of me.
Let me build you a storm shelter.
With the concrete from my hands.
The doors built by my teeth.
You are always alowd to enter.
Pretty raven haired girl with the smooth and pale skin.
Let me smooth vasiline into your skin.
Let me smooth gasoline into your skin.
And mine too.
Let's inhale propane and run into the crowds with matches in our hands.
No, let's inhale the crowds and run into fires with water in our hands.
Pretty raven haired girl with the pretty feet and pretty thighs.
Let's walk miles in my shoes.
Let's only walk fifteen feet in yours.
Then i'll buy you a new pair.
Let's wear out our souls.
Let's run 100 year track races.
Let's walk 1000 year turtle races.
Let's base jump into a relationship.
Let's jump bases into a physical relationship.
Let's take our time at moving fast.
Let's speed into the slow, intimate nights.
Pretty raven haired girl with the pretty hands and the pretty butt.
Let's sit on the stars and count the people.
Let's sit on prayers and count the steeples.
Let's find a house of God and pray there.
Let's find a house of love and pray there.
Let's ride Noah's ark to Garden Grove.
Where the grass is blue, and the sea is yellow.
Let's fly somewhere in the middle and make the sky green with envy.
Let's lay in the grass and count the fish.
Let's lay in the sea and count the clouds.
Let's lay in the clouds and count the ways we love eachother.
Pretty raven haired girl with the pretty brain and pretty heart.
I love you.
I love the way you might love me.
I love the way your eye sparkles when you look at me.
I love the way you don't even look at me.
Pretty raven haired girl on the bus, where are you going?
I don't think i'll get off there with you.
If this was meant to be, we'll end up in the same place anyways.

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Lots of twist and turns in this one...I was about to quit in the middle...got dull quickly...and the lines just seem to long...I believe this could be cut shorter and still get the intent...