*Rescue me*

I am drowning in love...rescue me...

We sit in screaming silence
As my head clanks and clatters
With wordless yik-yak;
That seems to be
On our regular menu;
So I take a bite every now and again
Just to satisfy my appetite.
We converse
And make dead-end chit-chat;
Expanding the deep blue ocean
That’s already between us.
So I put a note in a bottle
And send you an S.O.S.
Begging you
To rescue me from this sinking ship;
I’m plunging, and plummeting
Into this dark salty sea;
I gasp for air,
And choke on vague water,
As huge waves thrash me towards shoreline
I tumble onto dry land
Weary and tired;
And stumble
Out of love with you…
 

Author's Note

It seems that Falling out of love is alot harder than Falling in love...your reviews and opinions are welcomed...

Reviews

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

I try to believe that there is someone out there for all of us, it just takes time and the right moment to find them. But I feel your pain in this piece. And you're right, falling out of love is very hard... I've gone through that many times. Wonderfully penned, and very well expressed. Nicely done.


Great Write,
Rayne

[Prose-full]

"As huge waves thrash me towards shoreline
I tumble onto dry land
Weary and tired;
And stumble
Out of love with you"-------i love this;it's genius..

[Catrinka]

Really well written ! I love the images you paint with your words. Great job! The ending delivers the punch - very aptly captures the process of falling out of love. NICE NICE NICE!

[~crazy Beautiful~]

very interesting way to write
love this piece the best of yours so far
you write from your soul and those make the best works
thank you for entering my contest

[Steve Thompson]

Yeah, I am diggin your style, love the direction and ideas you have in the poem. Very entertaining...clap clap :)

[Shalini R]

thats.. thats really cool
and sad all at the same time.
cool diction, i like it

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

There needed no explanation there. I am not being rude. I just am saying that the piece is so beautifully written that it was easily understood. I love that your poems do not rhyme but they flow so nicely and paint a picture that you can't miss. I write mostly lyrically so my pieces usually rhyme. That is also what I enjoy reading unless the none-rhyming poetry is really good. Yours rocks!!
Keep it up girl!!
Love All,
Mejasha

[ah]

this is amazing, i love it, i dont understand why its not rated higher, aw well i guess.... the reason i love this so much is because of the introduction and then u blow it away with the ocean part... greatly written, thank u for posting this on here

[budzushammer]

Another great piece from your pen!! Absolutely incredible imagery!! Our editors would love to read and review this work. It has great potential for publishing!!

-The Budzu Crew
www.budzushammer.com

[Bridgette Schatz]

Did you write this poem because you were depressed or sad of losing a recent love?

[Prince of Poetry]

So I put a note in a bottle
And send you an S.O.S.
Begging you to rescue me
From this sinking ship;
I'm plunging, and plummeting;
Into this dark salty sea;
I gasp for air;
And choke on vague water;

Once again your talents show so much imagery and power behind your words