An Amazing Woman

This is a brief insight into the most important person in my life. She is my hero; my friend; my guardian angel. To put it plainly, she is my mum...

 

Looking back on my life I remember a frightened child cowering beneath her blanket while she awaited the inevitable storm her father would surely reap when he finally came home to their tiny flat. He was not always violent, however his deep voice was malicious and spiteful, conveying his intent without question, and she always knew when he was about to erupt.

 

It was a strange and disjointed childhood, always anticipating his explosive presence, but in between the intermittent moments of madness peace reigned in my mother’s home as she steered her family defiantly through her pain and suffering without tears. She was, and still is an amazing woman who nurtured her children with love and kindness, and it is of this wonderful person that I wish to speak.    

 

She was born into cruel and unloving circumstances where at the tender age of five, rejected and alone, she was sent to live with strangers in a sparse and regimented home with dozens of lonely children just like herself. The routine was harsh and unrelenting, however the small child never complained, instead setting her mind to the business of living and carrying out her daily chores with diligence and determination.

She thrived in her new environment, working hard to overcome the difficulties of her birth, and it was only on days when prospective parents came to choose a new son or daughter to brighten their home that she faltered slightly from her courageous path and allowed a wishful tear to stain her cheek.

She grew into a vibrant and beautiful young woman who dreamed of one day starting the family she had missed so dearly. And when she finally left the children’s home behind her, she headed for London full of youthful innocence and hopeful dreams.

 

The dreams, however, were short lived, and instead of finding a kind and thoughtful partner she met a man who would change her world and shatter her fantasy forever.

The violence was harsh and the fear worse, but through it all she cared for her daughters and secured them the childhood she never knew even though she could not completely protect them from the horrors of her world.

She worked, cooked, cleaned, found money she didn't have just to make them happy, and after 18 years of madness she finally removed them and herself from this pathetic man; at last escaping his control and moving forward with her life.

She picked up the pieces, striving to better herself, and held her family together through the ups and downs of daily life, teaching them kindness, love and honesty. And after all she had suffered this wonderful woman preached forgiveness, guiding them gently with her unselfish love.

After many years of absolute dedication to her family she finally met someone else; a man with an open heart who showed her what it is to truly be a man, and he loved her unconditionally, wanting nothing more than to make her happy...and she is.

The daughters are grown now and have lives of their own, but they would not be the strong, independent women they are today without the lessons and examples she set.
 

In this crazy world it is not always easy being yourself and most of us hide behind multiple layers that disguise who we are and enable us to fit in with our peers.

We smile and laugh, hiding our feelings from an unforgiving society that frowns on honesty and demands perfection. And it is only when we are completely relaxed that our true personality opens up and speaks from the heart.

Sometimes I think back on the way things were and I remember the child I was then. Afraid to speak yet full of ideals and aspirations, longing to break free from the preconceptions of my birth. And I wonder where she went with her hopes and dreams, that shy little girl who lives on in my soul.

Who is the person who looks back at me now, with her confident smile and her organised life? She gets up in the morning and takes over, going through the motions of being me, but she is not me...in fact she couldn't be further from the person inside if she tried!

I was not taught to cage my mind and accept the shackles that bind our imagination. I was encouraged to reach for the stars with both hands and thanks to my mum I have found an outlet for my terrified voice, and when I handed her my first published novel her proud face was the most beautiful gift I shall ever receive.

 

The frightened little girl has found a way to make herself heard above the daily madness that masquerades as her life. And with each word written I move one step closer to becoming the person I long to be and banishing my fears and inhibitions...

Life is short. We spend far too much time pretending, and if I have learnt one thing in the last few years it is that we cannot exist alone. People are what matter; they shape our lives and make us what we are. Our family and friends, even our neighbours and workmates all help to plot our direction, however for me there is one person in particular who does this without ever enforcing her view. She softens the way I think, feel and live my life and is responsible for my strength and determination.

 

She set the standard by which I judge others, and sometimes it is hard to live up to this extraordinary woman who fought her battles on a daily basis for more years than I care to remember. Her gentle nature moulded the woman I am, polishing the rough and sometimes hard edges, and teaching me tolerance and forgiveness. But her most important lesson was self belief; the example she gave undeniably guiding my decisions, and thanks to her I know that with enough faith and dedication I can be anyone and achieve anything...

 

Reviews

[__Flaw__]

Mother...the most underestimated gift we ever have/had.

If i were to place my feet in my own mother's, i would say, it would be a miracle for me to walk a couple of steps before i slumber to the ground, exhausted...depressed and more than anything...from the fear of insecurity over the family...but she had just done exactly that...made us what we are today...and ofcourse i am never going to repay her...even if i would lend her her own private paradise...it's unrepayable...

Bless us all.....and hey..keep smiling. :)

[Rain]

Hi Polly..
I thought I would begin reading your works,begining with this revealing piece. There's no question I'm enterong the realm of a true writer. We truely are every feeling,every person,every experience we encounter.
It is what molds us. Your love and admiration for your mother is moving. I am excited to read your fictional work,which I will do later this morning. I think I have ADD because I need absolute quiet to absorb what I'm reading. I wrote you not just because I saw(seen?) you were published,but because of the kind of human being that is behind the words. I love people who have good hearts;people who have struggled and survived,and more importantly did not allow the path to make them bitter. This was a beautiful and revealing piece. Namaste Rain

[Lionel Braud]

I am writing a novel with a similiar theme that is about finding my voice. That is what i see here, a struggle for authenticication and finding your voice. The name of the novel that I am refering to is "Louisiana garage Days", which is about my early childhood in metairie, La. good job.

[Jennifer Ryan]

This was beautiful, poignant, and very well written. We should all be so lucky to have an inspiring person such as your mother in our lives. I would very much like to know the title of your novel or novels. Thanks for sharing.

[Reality]

thats beautiful, I'm so glad you could grow up and live life differently then generations before you. It is an astonishing achievment compared to how the statistics indicate you should have ended up. Your mother is an amazing woman for teaching you how to do that. This was a beautiful piece, i love it. :)

[strghtjcket]

This is such a beautiful piece. It just warms the heart and soul. Thanks so much for writing it. It definitely inspires me!

~darkfollowinganangel

[Rosalie Skinner]

Well done. An excellent tribute. No mother could ask for more!
I can understand her pride and it is so good to hear that she is happy now! An uplifting piece.

[Sweet Addictions Is Stu..]

I think this is truly inspiring.
I am so glad you wrote it.
It not only gives us a window into your life but it also conveys the message that no matter the circumstances you can overcome almost anything. If you have the courage to do so.
-S.A.

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

This is an amazing piece as well as a loving tribute to that woman you love so deeply. I can only hope
that I have done the same for my daughters. So far this is one of the top 3 entries so good luck, this
is a breath taking piece. AWESOME JOB.
Debby