An Ado About Aardvarks

A man awakens to find himself transformed into an aardvark. Part of the #bepositivewritenow :First Sentence project

The third Tuesday morning of that particular month would have been rather inconsequential to Norbert, had it not been for the fact that he awoke and found his body had transformed into that of an Aardvark.

“Well this is awkward”, he muttered to himself as he gazed into the mirror, his long snout twitching furiously, his protruding ears flickering madly.  He was due to meet his friend later, but how would he explain this?

He fell to the floor, and before he knew it, he was snuffling and sniffling in the wastebasket.

“Get a grip of yourself man”, he lamented out loud.

He padded over to his suit, laid out on the bed, and wondered just what exactly he would do.  He slid his silk tie over his neck and trotted back to the mirror.

“No that won’t do”, he sighed, sliding the tie back off.

There was a buzz as a brisk-looking bluebottle flew through the open window.  Before Norbert knew what he was doing, he was up against the wall munching the fly down.  It felt appetising, despite disgusting his mind.

He glanced up at the clock his friend would be here very shortly, and she was nothing if not punctual.

Was he dreaming? Was it the pills he took?  He had woken up in some states before, but never that off a four-legged creature.  How long before it wore off?  Was this permanent?  Should he start looking for mounds of dirt to call home?

A knock on the door grabbed his attention.  Good lord, was she early?!

He leaned up to the keyhole and spoke.

“Can I help you?”,  he asked, grimacing slightly with a chapfallen look on his face.

“Telegram Sir, need you to sign for it”, came an official sounding retort.

Now here’s a conundrum he thought in dismay.

He clambered into bed, and covered his nose and ears in a white pillow slip, pretending they were bandages, leaving only dark eyes and the odd protruding pesky whisker.

“Come in please.”

The postman entered pompously and gave a small start at the sight before his eyes.  Not wishing to break protocol, or, god forbid, manners, he did not show a reaction.

“If you just sign here sir please, your telegram is in the envelope”, he said in an official tone.

“My good man, I’m a feeling a little under the weather, have one of those bad colds you see, such annoying things they are, and its made my nose a little...tender,” said Norbert, his dark eyes blinking madly from between the slips.

The postman gave a small nod and hastily scribbled on his pad.

“Not a problem sir.  Would you like me to open it for you?”

“That would indeed be smashing.  It’s my hands you see, damn things, woke up this morning and they just weren’t what they used to be”, said Norbert anxiously.

The postman carefully opened the envelope, and read aloud the contents:

“Norbert, my old friend, please accept my humblest of apologies, but I shall be unable to be in the pleasure of your company until Wednesday due to incredible dramas.  I shall see you then.  Regards, Enid”

Overjoyed feelings filled Norbert at his luck.  He bade the postman goodbye and decided there and then not to leave the bed.  The sun was high in the sky, yet he felt oddly tired.  Almost as if he should be asleep during the day.  So he set his alarm, counted his blessings and wished to anyone that listened, that he would awaken the next day in a better condition than he did today.  He used his long snout to set his alarm on his pocket watch, and he fell instantly asleep.

The banging on the door is what awakened him at around 4 am.  Falling out his bed, he walked to the door in a daze and then stopped.  His legs were back.  His feet were back.  Goodness to high heaven his nose was the same old regular size, with its same old ordinary redness.  Norbert started a little jig, looking a bit odd in his striped pyjamas that were torn and shredded in areas.

Then he remembered the door.

“Just coming”, he called, throwing on his robe, and smoothing his hair.

He opened the door and there stood Enid she was indeed early.

“Come in my dear friend.  Is everything ok?  Why did you have to cancel?” he said in his sincerest of voices, attempting to hide the fact he had been as delighted as a child.

“Oh Norbert, apologies for the early time but I’ve had such a drama, such an ado.”

Norbert gestured towards a chair and sat down opposite her.

“Tell me, nothing worse than drama these days, worrying things they are, what happened?”

Enid, shifting slightly nervously, leaned forward and whispered to Norbert.

“Something strange happened to me.  Tell me Norbert - what do you know about Aardvarks?”

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

Now this is an excellent idea. Wry Kafka, (don't you think that would be an excellent idea for a band name? However I digress.
I find myself thinking if he would continue to metamorphosise covering the letters of the alphabet.
This is excellent, wry wit told with such style.

[Tony Jordan]

Haha - this has all the hallmarks of a classic tale. Such wit and told in a style that reminded me of I grew up enjoying.
Excellent!

[#BePositiveWriteNow]

Thank you Tony! Much appreciate the wonderful feedback. Was a tricky one to write as I was given a tough first sentence, but I was pleased with the result.

[Tony Jordan]

Just re-read the first sentence. Lol
I see what you mean.
It was a stinker but you made it smell of roses.
Nicely done!