Once upon a time

Its an attempt to take you throughtout the satirical journey of our dear dwelling earth and that of us humans.

Once upon a time,
a ray of hope shine.
A weird creature evolve,
on planet which revolve.
The planet which was bare,
where even survival was dare.
On everything was lone,
was not now alone.
The civilizations spread entire,
the resources they took hire.
It was like a endless debt,
for which planet hoped and wait.
All it was over to exhilarate,
but it was time to desolate.
The treasure got ruin,
and exhaustion was very soon.
The creature which spread hate,
was on verge of facing fate.
Who started as a caveman,
we now call it as a human.

Reviews

[A.r. Bazian]

i feel more that every age brings and carries upon itself the extinction of its very characteristics! Humankind is just an attribute to the past 120+million years that our species have surfaced!
i wonder what will come in follow!
but worry not!
nature has its way in control itself! anything we do to better our consumption and devise of the world around us, is only a mere prolonging of our existence!
like all species, i'm sure ours will either evolve, or go extinct!
what a shame it is how we made this haven a living hell, but rest assured, our earth will recover, with or without us, and time will tell!

[Pritesh]

I really can find your concern with the nature and the looming anxiety on entire mankind...its certainly ironical and unprecedented of any species to press self destruction button recklessly...more than an oblivion its deliberate of us to do such...thanks

[j]

Its A Very Interesting Piece Of Work That Speaks The Truth About Humanity.

[The Dreamer]

Great poem - love the satire and the dark touch to it. i guess even though humans are this civilized, as far as nature is concerned , they are far worse than "cavemen".

[Pritesh]

thanks for your feedback...

[Jasmine Thurber]

Rymes really good.I wouold agree that it is an intresting story in your wonderful poem.I agree with Pencrafter.O:-)

[dunnia]

i like this poem especially the last three lines though i don't believe in the the theory of evolution ......... but it was very entertaining ....... good write ...... and thank you for your friend request ......... :)

[Pritesh]

thanks...for the kind...review....xd

[dunnia]

haha ... your welcome ....... :)

[Sid]

The story in this poem describes the journey of humanity through eternity very well and we have indeed fallen into a testing predicament as we destroy everything about us in our greed...you expressed this very well....great write!!

[Pritesh]

thanks man...for your...review..:D

[Jasmine Thurber]

Good one I would agree with yours too!!!

[prodicallife]

Hey Pritesh

A very beautifull and realistic write. Humans have evolve as a breed that feeds upon it's own breed and never stand back from pulling the urge to pot them into the state where they themselves couldn't stay for a breath. This is what a real human is and there is a very thin line to dissolve the thing 'humanity'.

In the present time if one let's live another we quote it as humanism. The present time as what you quoted in each line very true and very pure. Nice write.

Keep it up.

Regards
Prodical

[Pritesh]

thanks....for the review.....!!!!!!!

[Pritesh]

thanks.....for the review......!!!!!!

[外人 (Gaiji..]

The metrica and sound are outstanding, the poem is adorable, the message socially committed

[Hadewijch Lady of the N..]

I like this poem. It is a bit dark. I loved the way you used the words in this poem.

Well done :)

[Pritesh]

Thanks!

[Pencrafter]

Your poem tells an interesting story. I agree that mankind has certainly fallen into a deplorable condition, ruining themselves and the earth along with them. Although I don't believe in the religion of evolution, your poem succinctly describes the thought you choose to express.