Shadows

The shadows beneath my eyes

Betray the weeks of sleepless nights,

Concerns voiced about my appearance

Have made me all the more haggard.

 

All of a sudden the realm of society

Seems corrupt and beyond my mind,

While the rest of the world sleeps

I remain awake and alert in the darkness.

 

Embarking on my journey

To a dull and dreary life,

Shadows collect and distort my face;

I am no longer recognizable.

 

What lay there in the shadows

Are what is keeping me sane.

 

What lay there in the shadows

Are the memories of pain.

Reviews

[Warick Ten Bohmer]

I re read the last stanza and the last two lines in the third stanza a second time.
I actually believe such repetition would improve your poem. I also think that maybe you might have meant All of a Sudden, instead of Of a sudden? (first line second stanza).

All and all a well written poem, I can relate to it some degree, it being 2am here and me still being awake :L

Anyway I hope your other poetry is just as good or better than this, because I'm pretty certain I'll be reading it.
:)

[Cardinal Robin]

Great deep dig of thoughts while sleepy. In Zen there's a saying,"when you are tired, the enemy is also sleepy". Holding the feelings in allows them to distort our globe into darkest plight. Living in the shadows, one can develop a taste for mastering them, thus we return many times with hunger.
Thought provoking.

[Antonio Valentino]

Embarking on my journey
To a dull and dreary life,
Shadows collect and distort my face;
I am no longer recognizable.


What lay there in the shadows
Are what is keeping me sane.



What lay there in the shadows

Are the memories of pain.


Oh god Kristen, this is the story of my life.. I've been wanting to write a poem about this subject, loved this :))

Antonio

[T. J. Blackburn]

I like this:
"The shadows beneath my eyes
Betray the weeks of sleepless nights,"

I like the rhythm.

[Makosica]

Last two stanzas deliver the stark mind of an insomniac. All around captivating write!

[Craig Froman]

You write with such vivid emotion, trapped in this sense of sleeplessness. What takes over are painful recollections and reflections. Powerful! One can be most grateful for insomnia! (And perhaps a story?)

[Jonathan Ballam]

I'll give you a high five to insomnia. It's something I've also struggled with as an artist, perhaps those fierce images firing off in my mind before I can sleep will never leave?

Great poem. I enjoyed your blend of images, and a rhyme that fell skillfully in place. Nice work ;)

[Michelle]

awesome, f*****g brilliant work.
i get what you mean with insomnia + school. my best work comes when i'm sitting in front of my textbooks and haven't slept in 2 days.
but this poem is really cool. i love the ending.

[Unbreakable]

i found it really deep ;) i can relate becuase evn when i don't have insomnia it's the painful mameories and thinking and over thnking things in bed that keeps me awake. my favourite part was the last 2 lines, because it imeediately reminded me of a very painful memory. well done!!!

[Jennifer L. Brooks]

I have terrible insomnia, in fact I was up all night so I know where you're coming from and it's hell to deal with when you have work and or school. I liked the poem a lot, keep it up! :)