Shadows

The shadows beneath my eyes

Betray the weeks of sleepless nights,

Concerns voiced about my appearance

Have made me all the more haggard.

 

All of a sudden the realm of society

Seems corrupt and beyond my mind,

While the rest of the world sleeps

I remain awake and alert in the darkness.

 

Embarking on my journey

To a dull and dreary life,

Shadows collect and distort my face;

I am no longer recognizable.

 

What lay there in the shadows

Are what is keeping me sane.

 

What lay there in the shadows

Are the memories of pain.

Reviews

[Warick Ten Bohmer]

I re read the last stanza and the last two lines in the third stanza a second time.
I actually believe such repetition would improve your poem. I also think that maybe you might have meant All of a Sudden, instead of Of a sudden? (first line second stanza).

All and all a well written poem, I can relate to it some degree, it being 2am here and me still being awake :L

Anyway I hope your other poetry is just as good or better than this, because I'm pretty certain I'll be reading it.
:)

[Rose]

When I feel emotional about myself I have sleepless nights. Instead of sleeping I weep. I can relate to this as no sleep can affect how you look. It can ruin your face and make it full of tiredness. Your so low in energy you feel can't do anything. This poem expresses it so good it impressed me.

[Daniel Gardner]

Very good poem. This gave me an idea for another poem. Thanks for being an inspiration even if you don't sleep. This is a very descriptive poem that tells a story of what shadows on ones face can reveal. Great job. Second post to this but that means it is really great to read.

[LittleMadGirl]

I've been watching your work for longer time and I have seen a certain development .. You were good but you're getting even better!
Kudos to you!
This was great work

[Shade Teller]

Good job on the poem. I like the rhythm that it has and the imagery that it gives when I read it.

[William Fields Issac]

I think that every body experiences insomnia at least once in their life. Its almost impossible to escape forever. Good Job though

[GunMetal]

Excellently expressed. I could relate well, especially to sleepless nights.

[Infected Rose (aca Appr..]

I can totally relate to this, I feel where the sadness comes from =).

I like it :D. Good Job

[Haifa]

Sad.. but great job.

[itsjustme]

hmm very sad. i suppose we all have those nights of burning guilt or hurt, playing and replaying the situation at hand. asking ourselves, what did i do?

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

This actually gives me the fill of a story intro ..I like it very interesting ..and it transfer a portait of true sadness.