Addiction

You are my

addiction

offered to me

without restriction.

 

Can't walk away

there's nowhere to go

can't fight my craving

it's brought me so low.

 

I'm hooked

need a hit

A little touch

then I'll quit.

 

Always in sight

testing my resolve

a puzzle inside me

that I can't solve.

 

A burning pain

without reliefe

softly killing

my beliefe.

 

I'm hooked

need a hit

A little kiss

then I'll quit.

 

Can't stop myself

from wanting

please, please

just stop the haunting.

 

Go away, come back

can't breath when you're gone

Go away, come back

can't help that I'm drawn.

 

I'm hooked

need a hit

A little touch

then I'll quit.

 

 

Reviews

[GTVile]

Ah, I think this is my favorite piece so far. I know that feeling well. You drive yourself to madness trying to feed the need. Then you've got a fifty second reprieve from the burning, and it slowly creeps back. Sometimes it keeps you awake when you need to sleep, sometimes it makes you want to stay in bed when you've got to get up and be useful to the world. Sometimes it forces your heart to inconveniently race, and distracts you from all the stuff you need to do. Then it drives you up the wall and back down the other side, just to have the Sisyphus-like urge to go right back up. You look for other means of feeding that bottomless pit in your soul, like music in my case, but it never really addresses the true problem adequately. Well done, it hits a very personal note.

[Barbara Walker]

I think this poem flowed very well and your rhyme choices were excellent. Repeating the third, sixth and ninth stanzas works very well.I think this poem is pretty clever, Calling attention to how we can be as easily addcted to someONE, as we are someTHING. Great job!
Barbara (eyepoetress)

[Coyote Poetry]

Roll like music. I like this poem. Just a bit more till we get in trouble. A excellent poem. The words flowed perfect and ending was very good.
Coyote

[deeps]

Wow! This is amazing, I like this kind of like the saying
"Damned if I di, and damned if I don't"
Well written and said. Point well taken

[Brette Medb]

This was really good but there was a couple of stanza's where the flow was just a bit off and in the second stanza you said quite where you mean quit. Other than that I like the lyrical quality of the poem, it's lilting. Nice work.


Brette

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Well I will say you had me hooked from the opening verse... the words roll off the tongue reading them... I also like that though it can represent addiction to a person it can also be metaphoric to drug addiction. Very cool verse my friend.

[Michael X]

wow, beth, you've captured the rhythm in yearning, I absolutely felt meself taken by the flow that cascades with hip motion, this is pizzazz mixed with desire, and the romantic form and meaning
takes the readers thoughts on a whistful journey of wanting with passion, you are workin with hot talent

Can't stop myself
from wanting
please, please
just stop the haunting.