Demonic Guardian

I feel alone in my mental battle..and this just concluded some of the feelings towards my pain.

Not quite sure when I'll see the light. Not quite sure when it will devour the night. Sometimes I pray for soon, sometimes I come close to whistling the tune. Still, when the sun dies I stand. I'll fight through darkness till Sun's rebirth. I get weak more then less. What I seek is cheer but what I find is fear. The wind whispers of future terror through the eroded forest. Angel's hide behind a sky of diamond lights. I, only I, fight in these endless nights. They are two types of guardians, angel and demon. My angel was slayed by a fallen. Still have an angel, a angel that fell to evil. When we first met it was he and seemed so holy, but now he is it of evil. I know no name. I fear his presence. Unlocking the dread filled path I walk. Pushing me closer to hell, fighting to survive myself. I push through nights searching for it, I search to push my vengeful blade through his hollow heart. It killed my helpful friend and it though temptation that I couldn't refused. Disguise so friendly but covers a hatred of humanity. He cheers as I suffer, he routes for my diminishing. I still fight, I still live, but I feel he grows irritated. His only victim to ever willingly suffer. His only victim to have courage and will grow only stronger. I do not fear death, I fear suicide. He is irritated for my accomplishments so he makes memories reality when my eyes open, he makes friends bring me down from depths of my head, he forces me awake and filling my dreams with terror, disintegrating my only rest. 24/7 I fight to not calm my own pulse. I fear my own hand, and it brings him joy. The more I suffer through exhaustion and during sleep, the more he is satisfied. Trust me, if my heart wasn't filled with love I'd be far gone by now. If my heart gor others wasn't to big I would have perished with the heart for myself. A heart long ago consumed by death. My love for friends and family is what keeps me alive, my courage and will to keep them happy fights my urge. Without the few who care, I'd be torn down to the Fallen's lair.

Author's Note

I need opinions and criticism

Reviews

[shelby ferrell]

I love this!!! the last sentence got to me " without the few who care I'd be torn down to the Fallen's lair." I feel the same way about everything. You have a new fan and you can talk to me if you ever need it :)

[Triston Taylor]

Thank you!!! It really does mean a lot to me!!

[Joel Armstrong]

Its been well written.however, I would have enjoyed it a little more if you could give the poem a certain structure. In the current format it looks like a paragraph.With respect to material,this is very impressive .

[Triston Taylor]

Structure is something I struggle with cause when I go to right I'm just overwhelmed with ideas

[Joel Armstrong]

Hmm.don't worry about that.it comes with practice.its not that difficult either.
Try dividing the lines into a certain number in a particular stanza. And I would suggest that you read the poems of some great poet to just get an idea on how you have to structuralise a poem.let your ideas out through your writing .so I would also suggest that once u finish writing,take a new page and write or type it again in a structure of your choice.
More power to your pen my friend.do write more