Two Year

I lost 7 friends to suicide and my schizophrenia is linked to thwm..my friends two year was in April and I wrote this more to him then anything else.

Two years has past and I ran out of words. I've told you everything while you where listening from the stars. You know my thoughts when they come. I know your there shoving me to the right path. What lies beneath my eyes is not you. It's a demon who wants me gone, taken on many forms to try. I know all of you are there, my distant archangels. I know your feeling despair as I sit and cry. I know you want to help but even a angel can't change your brain. Nor a god, goddess, or devil. My mind to free to let angels see. My mind to free to save me from demons haunting thee. I suffer, I cry, yet I still try. One day I know you'll find away, I know you'll take the demons discriminating your names. I know the happy memories of us will be stronger. Not so much thought on how much longer, longer till I gaze into all of your beautiful eyes. Jordan, two f*****g years bro. It's been honest to god hell, I have only fell. I'll make through it though, I'll conquer hell before the ones I love see me fall. I miss you man. I despise images the demons show. I cry to the words your voice carries. I know it's not you, yet from this long of blue there is no telling what to do. I hid, I isolated, but I always wonder back. Those people who grab this hitchhiker of a old friend, that's my family, Jordan that's the family you help build. They help, this is true. But no man can take what I see, I give sympathy to those like me. There always needs to be a constant help. There always needs to be a constant reason to be happy with me, with a phone or not, loneliness, schizophrenia, it's devastating alone. He controls me when I'm alone. He whispers to me from my skull. 7 beautifully disguised demons. A choir of pain, yet reliefe. I stay here for everyone else, I stay for I have strong love, but I fear, deep down to something unknown, my biggest desire is to see you clear.