SHELL

An affair that can only end badly.

SHELL

 

I pay my bills.  I get out of bed.

I take my pills.  Say what needs to be said.

But I’m not there anymore.

You left and I went with you.

While the shell of my body stayed behind.

Empty from pouring my darkest hidden places

Into you

I doused the flames with gasoline to kill the zombie

I fueled the fire and now I’m suffocating

Burning for you.

 

I was feeding on scraps for nourishment

Starving, but staying alive on the crumbs

All I need is more than nothing

Gotta keep moving or I’ll drown

Breathless from treading, from trying

The current tore your hand from mine

I reach for you

And come up with empty air

My own heart in my palm

An unbreakable pattern, an unsealable wound

Like a bleeding orifice that never scars

Dripping down my sleeve

Staining the places on my body where you once left your mark

 

You still walk above ground

Untouched, untainted

I keep our secrets buried deep below

Never to rise to the surface

Locked in a treasure chest

And tied up with a bow

Trapped without air, without words

Words that would make it all disappear

Filling up with the salt that stings the wounds

 

While you ran away with everything

Right back into her arms

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Did I accurately describe this feeling? Have you been there?

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, yes...a very close friend of mine went through this...kept telling herself, he will leave her, he has told me he will...he will come to me unattached...ready to give his love fully to me...

and it never happened, she was left with shattered dreams and a broken ego as well as heart.

you capture the perspective really well.

jacob

[zainul]

Great piece.
Powerful emotion expressed eloquently.

[Pryde Foltz]

Some powerful imagery, here.

[LJW]

I have not, fortunately, been there. I have been very tempted on a couple of occasions but knew it would probably not be a good idea.

You sound like you felt you were the mortally wounded one, while he seemed to walk away unscathed.

A cautionary tale to be sure. Our woman- hearts tell us to do stupid things sometimes, yes?

[James E. Peterson]

I can relate to this and yeah u described it pretty well. excellent first poem.