Chapter One

...Just trying to get the reader interested...

 

Preface

He’s coming for me.  I realize that now.  I have to fight back, to save myself.  Only somewhere deep inside me I know he can’t be stopped.  Somewhere deep inside me I know I’m going to die.

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Chapter One

Marley Hart woke up with a start, her breathing labored from the nightmare that plagued her just moments ago.  Ignoring the shrill beeping of her alarm, she squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to remember exactly what exactly about her dream had terrified her.  Visions of green and brown flew past her mind’s eye; in her dream she had been running through the woods and someone had been chasing her.  Marley could not escape the feeling that if she had been caught something terrible would have happened. 

Bang Bang Bang.  The wall behind her shook.

“Turn that damn thing off!” Marley’s father yelled and she scrambled to comply.

I really should be up anyway, Marley thought as she walked quietly to the bathroom. You only get one first day of senior year.

She showered quickly and crept back into her room.  Marley let her hair air dry, fearing that the sound of the hair dryer would disturb her father, and dressed silently.  After completing her usual makeup routine, which consisted only of a peach blush, eyeliner, mascara and a clear lip gloss, she examined herself in the mirror. 

She had chosen to wear a gray V-neck tee shirt that would have accented her slim frame had she not covered it with a well-worn army green jacket.  The sweltering late August heat was still in full effect, so she had opted to wear a pair of denim shorts.  Marley knew that any attempts to tame her raven colored hair would be thwarted so she just let it lie in wild curls that barely hit the middle of her back.  Eyes are said to be the windows of the soul and the bright green orbs that were Marley’s were no exception; if one wanted to know how she truly felt at any given time, they need only look into her eyes- traitorous b******s.  Despite this, Marley’s eyes were one of the few things that she truly loved about her appearance and attempted to accent.  Her skin was pale and freckles danced across her nose and cheeks.

“Well,” Marley muttered as she stared at her reflection, “this is as good as it’s going to get.” And with that she pranced down the steps.         

The sharp smell of vodka hit Marley as she entered the kitchen; her father had been drinking again last night, just like he had every night for the past month and a half.  The half empty bottle sat open on the grey stone of the kitchen’s island and was surrounded by at least a dozen various other alcoholic beverages. The dinner plate that she had saved for her father to eat when he returned from the bar the night before, lay half eaten and abandoned next to them.  Shards of glass littered the tile floor; Dr. Hart had a habit of throwing his empty glasses at the wall whenever he finished his drink rather than washing it like any sane person would do. 

Marley sighed and looked up at the clock. If I skip breakfast I’ll have enough time to clean all of this up and make Dad some lunch for later, she thought and, with a sad smile, she set to work.

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Marley pulled into the school parking lot ten minutes before homeroom was set to begin. She saw her two best friends, Seth Cain and Addison Lucas, waving her over and was just about to go to them when she was distracted by the loud roar of a motorcycle pulling into a spot near to her.  Marley was puzzled; she knew that none of the 180 students at her high school owned such a machine.  So, pretending to inspect her tire, Marley hung back to catch a glimpse of this mystery person.

Whoever it was was clearly male.  He appeared to be around six foot tall and his broad chest was covered by a blood red tee shirt.  He wore a belt on his jeans, which Marley found very refreshing compared to the baggy style most boys tended to wear, and a pair of black Chucks.  He removed his helmet and for a moment all that Marley could see of his face was a shock of longish black curly hair. 

She felt her eyebrows rise slightly as the boy pushed his hair back from his face.  He was gorgeous.  His square jaw was covered in stubble, he apparently hadn’t shaved in a few days, and his full lips were set in a hard angry line.  His steel grey eyes were that of a hunter: cold, hard and focused.  He quickly scanned his surroundings and began walking determinedly toward the building.  With every step he took Marley felt the butterflies in her stomach fly higher and higher. He must have seen her staring because, as he passed her, he looked down and smirked somewhat sarcastically. As quickly as they had been born, the butterflies within Marley died just as suddenly.

She shook her head, attempting to escape the trance that the stranger had awoken in her, and began to walk over to her waiting friends.

“What took you so long, Hart?” asked Seth with a welcoming smile.

“I know what!” said Addy as she jumped excitedly. “She was checking out that hot biker boy!”

“What biker boy?” Seth frowned and stared at Marley.

“He was no one,” she blushed, scrambling to come up with some sort of explanation for her staring. “And I wasn’t checking him out.  He…he’s clearly new here and…and I was waiting to see if he looked lost.  He might need some help finding his homeroom…or something.”

 “Uh huh. I bet that’s exactly what it was.” Addy snorted sarcastically. “He didn’t look like he needed any help finding anything…except his way into my bed.” She winked at Marley.

 Marley’s blush deepened.  Addy was the type of girl that all of the boys fell all over themselves for: she was confident, fun and conveniently stunning.  Her hazel colored eyes seemed to glimmer mischievously next to her caramel colored skin and her curly brown hair fell to her chin, framing her slim face perfectly.  Addy not only had all of this going for her but she was tall as well; she was just shy of 5’10 and this, combined with her curviness, made her an ideal candidate for a Victoria’s Secret ad. 

If the new guy is going to fall for anyone, Marley thought, it’s going to be Addy.     

“Let it go Ad,” said Seth with a slight shake of the head.

“Yes Dad,” she joked in reply and looped her arms through his and Marley’s. “Shall we head to homeroom?”

“Let’s,” replied Marley and the group was off.

As the trio made their way into the building Marley glanced up at Seth.  She could see how the girls at school considered him handsome; he looked like a farm boy.  Seth was the type of boy who kept a tan all year round and had a contagious smile.  He kept his blonde hair short and his deep brown eyes were reassuring and steady, just like he was.  Too bad he was gay.

Well, Addy and Marley never dared ask the question but from time to time the two girls would argue both sides of the case.  Girls just never seemed to have his attention but not due to their lack of trying that was for sure.  When they were out to dinner just a few days prior their waitress slyly slipped Seth her number and it appeared that he could not to care less.  At times Addy, who was the braver of the two girls, would ask if Seth thought random girls were attractive and he would typically reply with an “I guess” and a shrug.  So the girls waited patiently for him to give them a sign one way or the other.          

Marley held her breath as the three walked down the hall.  People were staring- she could feel it.  She saw their pitying looks and heard their whispers as clearly as if they had been standing right next to her.  She stared down at her feet in an attempt to block them all out.

Seth seemed to sense her fear and broke rank.  He dutifully moved to her side and wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders.  She smiled gratefully up at him and he returned it with a small snort which made her giggle slightly.  Addy, noticing the small exchange between the two of them, shook her head with a smirk and wrapped her arm around her friend’s waist.  Marley smiled broadly because for the first time in a long time she felt as if nothing could touch her.

 

The euphoria that Marley had felt vanished as soon as she walked into homeroom and the conversation that had been animating the students just seconds before came to a violent halt. She placed her head on her desk, desperately longing to somehow become invisible, and hoped that homeroom would end quickly.

“Marley,” began Ms. Franklin as she crouched down beside of Marley’s desk. “I was so sorry to hear about your mother.  How have you been?”

And so it begins, thought Marley and she felt her mouth set into a thin line.

“I’m fine,” she said quickly and forced herself to smile.

She had been practicing this response in the mirror for weeks with the hope that if she lied convincingly enough that maybe she would begin to believe it herself.  She had said those words so many times that they had no meaning for her anymore; they had become as flavorless as water.

“Do the police have any idea who could have killed her?” the teacher pressed on.  She must have realized how insensitive she sounded because she blushed and added, “I mean she was always such a sweet wo-”

“No.  They’re still looking,” interrupted Marley.  She plastered on a polite smile and added “Ms. Franklin, may I use the restroom?”

Ms. Franklin gave Marley a small pitying smile and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Of course dear,” she said and she walked off.

The girl rose quietly and walked out of the room as calmly as she could.  However, as soon as the door closed she began to run furiously for an exit.  She couldn’t breathe; the weight of her mother’s death fell upon her chest with the force of an atomic bomb.  She needed air, to feel the wind on her face to remind her that she was still alive.

Marley had just made it outside when the tears began to flow freely.  She felt her body collapse and she pulled her knees up to her chest as if they could somehow hide her from the pain.  She closed her eyes in agony as the memory crashed over her.

It was July 12.  The summer heat had made Marley wonder if she’d died and gone to Hell and just hadn’t realized it yet.   Late that afternoon she’s returned home from a day of swimming at Addy’s, planning to take a quick shower and head back for a night of pizza and romantic comedies.  She’d known that something was wrong from the moment she’d entered the house; smoke was pouring out of the oven and the detector screamed out a repeated alert.  She raced to the oven, coughing heavily as she went, and extracted a piece of meat that had been so badly burnt that she could no longer tell what it was.  She called out for her mother before she opened a near window.  There was no answer.  Marley walked cautiously into the living room and the sight caused bile to rise in her throat.  The place had been ransacked.  It looked as if someone had dipped their hands in a pail of red paint and dragged them across the walls.  The coffee table had been thrown so violently that one of its legs had come off and the vase of flowers that once sat upon it lay shattered on the ground.  Marley cried out for her mother again and sprinted toward the steps, silently praying that her she was safe on the second floor.  Only she never made it to her destination; in her haste she’d slipped on a pool of blood and came crashing to the ground.  From where she lay, Marley saw a woman’s leg protruding from behind the couch and crawled toward it.  There lied her mother, her yellow summer dress soaked in blood.  Her long black hair was fanned out behind her head almost as if she were floating.  Marley noticed that her little finger was missing.  The calm, comforting face that Marley had known all of her life now looked empty, a novel with its pages torn violently from the binding.  Her brown eyes looked unseeingly to the ceiling and her mouth was open wide in a silent scream.  Marley turned away from her mother and vomited violently.  She turned back and cradled her mother’s body in her arms, rocking her to and fro almost as if she were trying to comfort a baby, and screamed for help.

A rough voice brought Marley back from inside her memories.

“Homeroom ends in five minutes,” it said.

A startled Marley looked up at the boy, tears still falling from her eyes.  It was the boy from the parking lot.  His gray eyes did not look at her with pity, there wasn’t even curiosity in his gaze.  His face was hard and his body appeared tense.  His long fingers pulled a joint from his pocket. 

“I’ll let you know when it’s over,” was all he said before lighting up and walking off, leaving a puzzled Marley behind.                    

             

 

Author's Note

Any sort of comment would be greatly appreciated!

Reviews

[AJ Davis]

I enjoyed and appreciated the hints you gave from the start that something substantial had happened in Marley's life. You piqued my interest from the beginning and held it through the excerpt. The descriptions of each character felt a little heavy handed, like introduce a character...here's their description, repeat. I think that if you broke those pieces up a bit over a longer period of time they might flow better. Also, as the reader you understand that the father is mourning, but the signals about his character are a little mixed. You mention he's a doctor which I automatically associate with being respectable, etc. but he definitely seems very much on the violent or hateful side in his actions. I'm not sure what your plan is with his character, but I wanted to tell you what I felt with what I've read so far about him.

Definitely enjoyed it and would be interested to see where it's all going.

[Rachel]

First of all, thanks for reviewing :) I really appreciate all of your comments! I'm very glad that you enjoyed it! I totally get what you're saying about the descriptions of characters- I'm very visual so I tend to go a bit overboard on character descriptions. And with Dr. Hart, he's actually a good guy but he's dealing with his wife's murder the wrong way. I have this whole scene in my head where eventually Marley confronts her father on his drinking and it's going to be a major deal.

Anyway, I hope I didn't bore you to death with my super long reply!

[AJ Davis]

Not at all, looking forward to reading more.

[Hannah]

Hi Rachel, first of all, this was a lot of fun to read. I always like a bit of mystery to hold onto when I first begin to read a book. It has to hold me for the length of the chapter and yours did. I agree with AJ's comment on the description of people, this is something that I had to learn over time too. It's showing someone, rather than telling them. If I were to say, "He has brown hair and green eyes." I can picture them but there is no rhythm. Try adding action in to description to show, "He drew his long fingers through the thin strands of auburn hair that quickly fell back down against his square chiseled jaw." Now my eyes are moving and I'm seeing something I like. In the same sense, don't loose your descriptive flair, you really have a talent. I love the way you described Marley's eyes and Abby's figure, keep those signatures, but add some action in there. Great first chapter, I look forward to reading more from you Rachel.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

I actually wasnt in the mood to read a huge chapter but u joined my group and everyone that does gets a review so i read it anyway. Im so glad i did once i got into it i kinda didnt want to stop. This is defiantly good enough to be published and put on shelves i love this its great, i love the whole story line to it. I have a feeling her est friend Seth is into her and she has no clue haha. Also curious did u get Dr. Hart from hart of dixie? I am in love with that show im waiting for season 3 how long can they make a person wait seriously haha. Anyway great write defiantly keep adding chapters i love it