The Fire Inside

A Poem by RacialRainbow

This is poem is a little different than my others. It's starts and ends as a story, to understand just read. lol

She wondered how long it had been since she last smiled genuinely. You could tell by her appearance it had been a while. She was sitting on her veranda, over-looking a vast sea of green. She felt as if the waves knew what she was thinking. The sweet way they rose upon the shore, or could it be the way they sunk back rejoining the beautiful expanse of darkness once again. She couldn’t tell you, because she was dead. Oh, now you must be confused how one sits on their veranda, yet one is not alive. I can tell you how, for she isn’t truly dead to flesh but to self, herself.

Her name you already know, so there is no point in speaking it aloud. The first night she ceased to exist was a fine night indeed. Men were always the problem or the cause of such self-hatred and loathing. She always felt alone even in his arms, what she only wanted was to be loved like she loved. But unfortunately he could not love her, at least not the way she wished to be.

She sat upon his couch waiting for him to return

With her made up hair and face

She stared at the pictures she had burned

In the fire she left her pain as flames licked at her feet

She walked up the stairs to his room, ever so casually

She did not fear the scars that she stripped complete to show

She did not see her skins beauty, anymore she did not glow

She spoke so soft to the wind which fueled the burning fire

“I must show him the love that he has always acquired”

She laid herself on the bed, fire kissed the door

She knew the end was coming soon so much she had in store

Before the flames could touch her she left a letter never to be read

Upon this note to anyone she left these words unsaid

“I loved you more than I should have, more than anyone could

I wish you could have seen the flames as they danced upon the wood

They called my name it made me cry as I burned our memories

It was not you it was not me it’s the demons we couldn’t see

They told me I was ugly, all the scars that I bare

But I lay here naked and the flames have scorched off all my hair

I hope you miss me when I’m gone because time is running out

The flames are all around me now there’s no way to get out

Goodbye my love, Oh I wished you could see the look upon my face

The pain I feel is no way near the pain I felt here in this place

The walls are melting so is my skin, all the way to the bone

I write once more to you my love this time I’ve surely made it home.

So the story ends here but let me assure you this, she is not dead to flesh, again I must insist she sits on her veranda, maybe even sipping a bit of tea. As he walks up behind her and kisses her on the cheek. You see the letter that she wrote was all in her head the fire was inside her only inside her she is dead.