Dear god

Dear god

 

                I don’t believe in you but maybe my uncle did because he got scared of dying in his final weeks and a friend sent him to you – well, to one of your representatives here on earth: a frowning catholic priest with his sold-out concert power; he’d say something and the room repeated it right back at him in zombie intonations that creeped me right the f**k out [I don’t like concerts either so don’t take it personally]. This priest, this man who gets diarrhea same as anybody else, claimed to have the solution, to know what my uncle needed, after a 45-minute conversation. Christ. He needed christ, this priest said, that’s all. I was so angry I wanted to leap from the pews and beat his smug face in. He hinted at some big secret that my uncle was worried about and it seemed the only comfort offered was in you and jesus. Did he tell the thing I wish he could have told me? And exactly how would he have been soothed regarding his mortal sin by this ritualistic arsehole?

You and yours ruined my hope for funeral peace.

 

Dear god

 

                I know you don’t exist but what I don’t know is how you manage to f**k everything up for us down here. You are the root of all evil; it all leads back to you.

I’m sick of living amongst the insane who aren’t allowed to be called insane, whose beliefs require careful handling; the feather-touch of respect dressed in untouchable gloves - who continue to deny my disbelief the same courtesy because to admit to a single doubt would be like inviting all the cracks in heavenly concepts to descend upon their closed minds. I’m sick of people dying in your name. I’m sick of my ignorance making the Middle East resemble a crazy kitten-pounced tangle, and each time I try to retrace the threads, there you are in some form, dancing us all a merry jig, evading detection when human error provides distraction.

 

Author's Note

Saving this here temporaily before I work on it, so don't feel like you should review it or anything.
The lowercases are disrespectfully deliberate, yes.
Any suggestions welcome - it's not flowing as smoothly as it did when I first started thinking about it, but I had to cool off before trying to write it. Maybe that was a mistake.
Thanks.

Reviews

[holly]

I feel compelled to say something, and want to say something but can't find the words. Your loss was profound and your lines crackle with anger and desire, desire to throw that anger at God (sorry, I'm a believer), desire to wrench the misused power of God out of the cruel, thoughtless hands of His supposed servants. You are a powerful writer and slamming your words onto the crumbling edifice of religion can only do both of you good. These piece is beyond liking or disliking. It is an aspect of you and can only be accepted.

[JP thinks the WC is apt..]

This is cutting, cathartic, angry and powerful. I'm about as athiest as they come, so you have my approval. You've also logged the presumptuousness that you often find with religious types - they feel that by 'knowing' God, they can deconstruct you within about five minutes. I'm a little bit lost for a comment here to tell the truth. I appreciated the confrontational tone and I liked the way you've addressed God as though he were the guy in Customer Complaints.

[Mike Mitchell]

I like it. Don't agree with some of it. But I like it.
Some suggestions: A few more paragraph breaks within each section would help. The metaphor with the Middle East is a little too jammed. Stylistically, add one more section, for the irony of the trinity.

[Andy Hand]

I don't think you should cool off before writing it. The pain and angry that the narrator feels seems very real, even palpable in the text. That real emotion moves the piece; the reader is caught up on a wave of rage and is swept along with the story. Read it again, get pissed all other again and start writing.

I think the narrator needs to address the fact that in the first line he says God doesn't exist, but yet sees him as the puppet master, which forces the narrator to not necessarily believe, but admit or acknowledge a force (as produced by man doing things in God's name) which disbelieving in doesn't save the reader any pain. (I hope that made sense. It came out a bit awkward)

[TwiSted]

people have been conditioned to believe certain things. I'm a believer too..but I don't believe the propaganda...I think God is not a he, God is an it. conscious energy...The Great Mother, mother only because it gave birth to our existence..regardless. I don't think God messed anything up down here..humans did. We had free range to make heaven or hell on earth and this is what humans have decided to do with it. The universe does not want us to blow each other up, that is a bunch of psychotic murdering soul depleted buttholes that need a good excuse to destroy things...what else would people fear more than them...God...propaganda. I loved your writing.

[F. Nazarov]

God (god (lowercase for you)) is such a touchy subject, but you address what many
people are thinking. I could go on forever about subjects like this,
but I'll just state that I don't really think God (god) is so fucked up, I just
think we are stupid.
You made no mistake and I actually liked the fact that you made God(god) lowercase,
it's different :D.

[Jake H.]

So this is genuine, eh? Kudos, because I would never have the guts to say all of that, even if I felt it. I've grown further from my religious upbringing as I've found my own path, but there's still that minimal, nagging fear at the back of my mind, that horrible 'what-if'. It felt good to read this.

[Solst Rapture]

No suggestions. It was refreshing to read this.

[Michael Carr]

personally I think you should spend more time focusing on the people who work for god in their rightous murderous crusades rather than going after god himself. that said, you do convery a sence of anger and truth behind your words, very powerful. I recently lost my cousin (closest thing I had to a brother, even though I hadn't seen him in ten years) to an overdose (he was in treatment for heroin addiction, apparently no one was watching him and he had a reaction to the medication they gave him) and I felt the same way as you do now boylan. I believe in god, though I have my doubts, espcially in some aspects to his followers, but I commend you for letting out how you feel.
good luck man.
be well.

[Little Mouse]

Ouch, these are good letters. Would be nice for God to answer. I believe in God but I've been put off as well, many times. At the time of someone's death of course there is additional emotional weight, sorry for your loss. Well, you might like some I wrote...(couldn't help but think of these)... "To Partake or Not" (deals w/ Catholic religion in the context of communion at my 20 year old nephews funeral) or "The Babble of Lingo" may be of interest or "My Many Fathers and Chances with Death"?... if you feel further evangelized, well that is my intent (just kidding). I hope my writing is not too dogmatic or off-putting, but if you think it is please let me know. I saw you are a friend of a few of friends here so I clicked in... -:3 )~~~