Inkjet

and the headline ran

HOLLYWOOD IN SECRET PACT WITH ZIPPO

well when black lungs start tipping off punters

with phlegm that maybe cancer is too high a price

and today might be a good day to quit

they were seized by desperation

bankruptcy ain’t too pretty either you know

so sink or swim somebody threw a lifebelt into the mix

no more smokers but still plenty of lighters

living in pockets with mints and bus tickets

because everybody wants to save the world

by blowing part of it up

KA-BOOM

bye-bye bad guys evil creatures zombies communists Muslims

or whoever tomorrow’s cinematic scapegoat might be

gotta have a lighter

for when the matches fail to ignite petrol trails Molotov cocktails

the skyscraper right after the hostages get out

you get the picture

where’s your lighter, sir

 

and next morning

HOLLYWOOD IN NOT-SO-SECRET NUCLEAR PACT

oh yes America must have its toys insanity hypocrisy

how else to destroy the alien fleets and meteors

inevitably heading our way

 

and yeah my new job at the paper’s going well thanks

…what makes you ask?

 

Author's Note

Scraps from the table of Ziggy's genius; thanks for breaking the block mate.
Shame it's so shite.

Reviews

[PianoandPage]

it's not shite at all my friend. witty, clever, full of zazz and pizazz? yes.

love the description of the everyman's pocket. filled with bus tickets and breath fresheners. i dug on the contrast between the paranoia of sensationalized headlines and the ordinary glum hum of our daily debris.

fantastic. the last line makes this one eloquent joke which could be a bad thing but knowing a little about it's author makes me laugh all the more.

[TL Boehm]

wow! your wit is simply DELICIOUS! Your words are like wasps - getting several good stings in before I even register the barb! Awesome. And so - the book - I have a cobweb covered website with a "favorite writer's" page - if you are interested in free advertising. Send me a note here on the cafe...I'd love to blurb you and put up a link. peace.

[zig]

"bye-bye bad guys evil creatures zombies communists Muslims
or whoever tomorrow's cinematic scapegoat might be"

all i can do is grin, awesome piece my friend, very perseptive. i think this is standard operating proceeder here in the states, when the media cant find an "oh my god" tragidy to report, they just make s**t up. pandemic pig flus, death panels, etc. im starting to think the author dauglas adams invented america to help him dream up crazy and absurd senarios for his hitchhiker novels (any day now we will start to use dead leafs for currency, oh wait, we started doing that back in febuary)

love this boylan, you have a keen eye, a sharp pen, and tons of talent. great work as always.

zig

[Dezaraye]

I'm not really sure I'm getting from this what you mean the reader to get. Then again, I'm not the intellectual type.

I thought about going into journalism, until I saw this part of it and then I reverted back to my childhood dream of being a teacher.

Anyway ... I never understand why there is so much of Hollywood in the news and so much false nonsense ... why can't we have the truth?

[Emily B]

me? I'm afraid of lots of things these days . . . the county schools are wanting to give my children vaccinations for a flu virus that's been in the headlines these last few months . . . seems like my life, my choices are being taken over by my government and I wonder if anyone else has noticed . . .

I want to come back to your words again, by the way, that lighter image is killer.

[deeps]

I'm sorry but I had to snicker at this.
The world will never be satisfied ever with anything.
This is just so well put.