The Burden of Overactive Minds

My head...your head?

It doesn’t take much;

 

a taxi driver, stopping,

waving me across the road;

if only to step

before the oncoming grille

of a vehicle in the other

lane, it does not matter,

for it is the gesture that counts.

 

Sometimes I feel so light…

 

…as if I could float beyond

the claws of my existence,

and disperse through the sky

(which is more than mere science,

however persistently they try

to persuade me otherwise)

and it is here I become worried.

 

It would be just my luck to get shot;

 

another name filtered into living rooms

via the evening news;

a bystander caught up

in yet another gang feud;

crossfire tearing my tranquility into shreds

of flesh and bone, and flecks

of my imagination seeping into the pavement.

 

It doesn’t take much,

 

for me to get carried away -

betrayed by a Spring breeze,

giggling insanely

as I wave to bewildered Proles,

left behind in a world that burdens weightily,

tugging forcefully at their feet

like chewing gum on worn soles.

 

Gravity, they call it.

 

I kiss mummified flowers amid apologies

over neglect, regrets pricking me like thorns,

and each terrible day, more infants born

oblivious, hopefully drenched

in fresh love every morning;

trembling, trusting leaves shaking off the drops,

knowing not of the value or remorse.

 

No, it doesn’t take much.

Author's Note

Please take a look at the book and let me know what you think:
http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/where-nothing-is-sacred-volume-i/1637740]

Thanks.

Reviews

[Dave Palmer]

This is an "every day" poem with more than an every day meaning behind it. It travels through some of the most innocent portions of life that we all take for granted daily. I like the repeating of the line "It doesn't take much" because it's so true. It doesn't take much because it is all set in motion and happens every day without much effort at all, yet the effects can be both innocent and/or disasterous. Nice imagery here with vivid descriptions of the various random events that all come together to complete the thoughts of the grand scheme.

I like how you touch on the contrasts of death and innocence early and end with new life (the ultimate in innocence) giving the reader hope amid the destructive/hopeless lines like "even if only to step before the oncoming grille of a vehicle in the other lane" or "crossfire tearing my tranquility into shreds of flesh and bone, and flecks of my imagination seeping into the pavement." (the second is my favorite line.)

Overall a good piece... keep writing!

[TL Boehm]

wow. I love the way you move quickly between the flitting light fancy and the grit of real life...leaving pieces of ourselves on the sidewalk...yup. This one is powerful. I'd like to post your link on my website - your link to this book - if you will permit me to do so.

[zig]

this is such an incredible pleasure to read, you are one outstanding poet my friend, outstanding! i look forward to reading more of this collection, and when its ready, let me know when and where i can buy it. (how does it feel to reach this level?)

zig

[eli mercuree rue]

a f**k it would not be enough to suffice everything i suppose.

neither would turning around bare assed and bent over... thats what the green fairy does for us. i like her.
but if youre gonna do it you may as well go all out. at least make that last bit feel good. but i guess knowledge of a new beginning is good enough...

we forget ourselves.
that's what we do when we get caught up being alive and not living.
f**k the s**t in the shitter and smoke that fire. yeah no.
s**t

gravity is s**t. the only way around it is to not believe in it but i guess by doing so you admit to the nothing you are believing in and by some small margin believe in it therefore you are royally fucked.


amazing how each gesture is constricted by the previous eh?



your head has betrayed me here. i feel like im on the outside.
i am disconnected from it all where i once felt more.


i needa drink.

[Gandré]

This were reflections on life...like they are happening on the quiet mornings and afternoons...I feel like I'm ferreting out someone else's experiences, and they are so compelling that I'm unable to put these mesmerizing discoveries down, even when I have my own. I like the shamanic poetry-idea, the leaping earth with all the details.. I loved "I kiss mummified flowers amid apologies / over neglect, regrets pricking me like thorns, " -this was my favorite expression, deep sight at the world, we need it. The work is gorgeous and eyes-opening, it shows - where to look.

(regarding the piece "My World Now" that you reviewed 2nd time:
yes you are right, I didn't look at your grammar suggestions, I overflew, I just used word editor. I will see, what it was and edit the piece, thanks!)

[Emily B]

I came to visit your words. I had forgotten these words. I read them as if they were brand new and they are still a favorite. When exactly are you going to publish?

[Brett Campaigne]

Very beautiful prose(don't worry, i don't mean its' not poetry). You lead us through daunting imahes which are coloured with your subjective attitude vibrantly.

[Katherine Moure]

From the lyrics of Leonard Cohen, crooning to his lover: "dance me to the children who are asking to be born..."

to the hopeless, angry words of Kerouac that claim that "I did not ask for this s**t. Nobody does. I never asked to be born."

I couldn't decide which of my heroes was mistaken. I eventually thought that Leonard Cohen was full of s**t in this case, but I still love his music.

I don't know if it's the fear of gravity (brought on by the magnificence of floating) that makes the narrator want to be hit by a car or shot, or perhaps it's the instability and unpredictability of weakness to gravity, but I think whatever the case, the deceptive lightness of the poem makes its heaviness almost funny (in a good way). I liked the read a lot.

[mick weller]

An unbearable weight: the too-muchness of the `lateral thinker`..?
a too-muchness of `awareness` - a dawning of distrust...
the burdensomeness of humanity

(which is more than mere science,

however persistently they try

to persuade me otherwise)
...it is interesting to note the worried response from a narrator who stumbles on such a huge truth?

`if the Proles would only make a stand they could establish a better world` right?
can we really bring about change through revolution?
Feeling so light in the knowledge that action can bring about change in social order..?
then history teaches us that it takes an awful lot...
but no, maybe I see a `rising above` - as it's merely gravity the Proles have to deal with...
this is most profound - striking a most dismal chord at the heart of what it is to be `human`
though in fact 1984 turned out to be much like any other s**t year...
but this piece has a beauty about it
the beauty of transcendency - we *can* rise above the mire...
...and your grumpy bear puts a smile on my face

[Hedra Helix]

I think that im glad for the fact that you are here. is that getting old?
I am though, the forces of gravity and our opposite forces able to push these butterfly wing bodies against the fast moving deaths of the world. This is somewhat a clear picture though ironic as it is of how and why your mind survives it all. Its bright and solid in its taste. it knows itself too much to release to the downward forward decline when it all comes down to it. ya got too much to give.

So I came into this thinking ok, im going to give-im a good critical review... but on what? hah, sorry. instead let me point out your coolness, write some crap btw, so i can repay you for your kick a*s reviews, s**t..


and disperse through the sky
(which is more than mere science,
however persistently they try

rhyme and hello no attitude even if you percieve it another way, tricky tricky mind, still you let me as science get the best, you!
Gets an A from professor HH;)

[Adam Chambers]

I think this is very good writing. I am going to add it to my favorites!