the cassette tape

you drive on the highways

tears lodged in the back of your throat

a niche of necessity.

 

the soundtrack of

grainy piano and violin

pull you back into

my arms

even as you push

yourself forward

for a paycheck.

 

i slump on the couch

and merge with miss-you's

till my breath

becomes a stopwatch

ticking backwards.

 

i go to the piano

and play your song

wondering if it's an echo

to your travels

and smile

knowing that it is.

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

This is love, articulated.
Each stanza is perfect, as well as moving.
Great job using the line breaks - I would have had to mess it up with punctuation if this had been mine, too anxious that the pauses wouldn't work...but you make them work for you. Very cool.
Lovely poem. 'tis. & you make it seem so casual too.

Thanks for sharing this with me, and for reminding us about the power of music.

[Jibey]

Captures a mood, a nostalgia for what has been and the haunting association of music with times in our lives...

[Laura E. Aranda]

F A V O R I T E
I feel like I am the one in the car
Actually here I am at work Night Auditing at the hotel where I practically LIVE at 3:45 AM in the morning and my hubby has the WHOLE freakin bed to himself AGAIN....bummer....I want to be spooned right now!! :( I wonder if he is dreaming of me.....ANYWAY
You don't want to know about all that...sorry for the monologue...haha! I thought of all that due to this great write! Cheers,lea

[Kaela Craven]

Great ending. Great poem.

"i slump on the couch

and merge with miss-you's

till my breath

becomes a stopwatch

ticking backwards."
know that feeling...

[Ninelilies]

Oh, yeah...I can totally identify with this one. Good work. I wouldn't change a thing--S

[JP thinks the WC is apt..]

This is odd, I've just been reading about the revival of the cassette tape and how nostalgia is bringing it back. I didn't think it would have much of a shelf live beyond the invention of the MP3 but like vinyl before it, there's magic there. It makes a nice focus for this melancholy poem, like a soundtrack to sadness. The grainy sound gives the piece an almost visual quality and the journey carries the two of them ever farther apart. But there's a slither of hope for reconciliation at the end, when the music he plays chimes with the music she hears. It like the way it binds the two of them even as they're drifting apart.

Much enjoyed.

P.S: Thanks for the review of my story, nobody's given it a second look but it is rather long to be fair. Thanks for taking the time.

[Tara]

I absolutely love this. You portray so well, what music does to a woman in love...Each lyric, theirs, each note , a memory. I love the descriptive "grainy" and I love that second to last stanza very much. This feels of a brief letting go...I get the feeling that they will be reunited soon.

[Hedra Helix]

ohh nice voice too!
I like to read several pcs before i get all up and indepth critique wit cha... but I think i remember reviewing you before and thinking you were very good, this only backs it up. ;)
I like the tone of your voice in this... if that makes any sense, very masculine but specific. Like I can hear you speak it. And its pretty.

I shall be back for more;)

thank you also for visiting me;)

[Staci Brown]

like a master director with film on screen or the master painter finding his blends to lay on canvas, the musician who feels their instrument an extension of their own limbs so easily lays the tracks of his song... you have put pen to paper when you found that moment within our lives that ache both with sadness and happiness as we long for those we've become a part of... brilliant cameo of your aching love for that special one... the visual created was impressive, the keys of the grainy piano striking her strings were echoing as i held on to your every word!

this reminds me of a song i wrote years ago while on tour...

Faerie Blessings!

--faerie whisper (breaking the silence...)

[Gandré]

I read this, and I became increasingly involved with your seeing "tears lodged in the back of your throat

a niche of necessity." ------- what a way to say! It is like having traumatic memories and wanting make them fade.

"i slump on the couch

and merge with miss-you's

till my breath

becomes a stopwatch

ticking backwards." -------------- this is my favorite stanza. What a way to say 'and mege with miss-you's'.. this is evoking feeling in reader's mind; this is real art.

The last stanza says how a lover wants to be near to his beloved while that one is visiting places, dreaming. This is about becoming embroiled into the most intimate moments of lover's mind. Beatifully crafted. I adore your art, my dear friend.

[Leah Simone]

I see you have a fondness for playing the piano as well - that explains a lot. The song being an echo was brilliantly stated - music can morph itself into so many emotions - it has a way of becoming what we are feeling - sometimes changing our mood - sometimes reflecting a mood we didn't realize we had and when combined with such strong feelings for another - it becomes a language that says all we ever wanted to say without saying a word - I think you captured that magic here - the sadness and excitement - wanting the return, but wanting that person to open a new door - discover what couldn't be found with you - slumped on that couch - or cradled in your arms - songs can't be held, can they? they must be released into the air like a fragrance that travels from nose to nose and smells completely different to each and every person within its range to impress. I'm sure your poem will mean something different to every reader, but for me it speaks of letting go and holding on simultaneously - if that even makes sense - well, it does to me - thank you for this.