Shadows of loneliness

It's about lonely life

Your vibes are following like star,
You stayed in Me like a scar.

I don't know what we are,
My mind and heart making a war.

Birds also fly in pair,
But I'm lonely thats unfair.

Waves also know how to reach the shore,
Dear when you will back home, that's I'm not sure.

You left me boldly
Now see I'm lonely.

Author's Note

What do you think of these lines. Review please.

Reviews

[Cherrie Palmer]

Remove the 'a' before war. It smooths out the delivery. This poem has a great flow. Both of rhythm and image.

[Onlyme]

Heartfelt swaying like a poetic shoreline. With the tides ebb and flow of the waves of the ocean. That touches the heart and warms the soul. As well as describes the pain of loneliness.

[Mohamed Rahim Iqbal]

Thank you very much brother. I'm really happy to see your review

[Onlyme]

my pleasure. Look forward to reading more from you.

[Mohamed Rahim Iqbal]

Yeah sure. I'll will do my best.

[Najam Us Saher]

Loved the rhyme. You expressed your emotions really well, I could feel your loneliness through your descriptive words.

[Mohamed Rahim Iqbal]

Thanks brother. Your words are likable.

[Najam Us Saher]

I am a girl.
You're welcome.

[Mohamed Rahim Iqbal]

Oops sorry. Thanks

[Weeping willow]

It has a lot of emotions flowing through the lines.Though sad,yet one can relate to your words of the sadness of loneliness ;-]

[Sinbulvinter]

While the poem is short, there's a lot of emotion expressed in this and the rhymes flow very well. It's a sad tale, but very well written poem.

[Mohamed Rahim Iqbal]

Thank you so much for your review. I'll do better.

[Sinbulvinter]

You're very welcome