Drizzling dust

Drizzling dust

A Poem by Candle in the wind
"

Written for a contest-Advanced 10/40 Using all ten words,(Dust, only, paint, alibi, through, pencil, property, sprayed, organize, borrow ) in order, had to write a poem using exactly forty words.

"

Drizzling dust on my window
Only paints an alibi for my absent spirit
Some peer through
At a hazy pencil sketch of me
Listless property strewn
Sprayed with neglect
I have to shake off the gloom
Borrow zest organise life

© 2008 Candle in the wind



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Featured Review

This is what true talent is all about and that is why I'm again writing here that you are one of the most talented writers present here at Cafe!
This is exceptionally well, and conveying such a thoughtful message...Poems like this are always in my goodbooks :)
(In between, you forgot to highlight the word "alibi" I guess)
Brilliant piece of writing, Like always...!

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

There is a great style to this piece, I really enjoyed it.

-Richard.

Posted 7 Years Ago


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a
This is really a wonderful, inspiring and well mastered poem, that show deep insight of the lyrical character.
But since it's written under vertain conditions, i supposed some things might have left unsaid outside the lines, it carries the mind of elsewhere and leaves unsatisfied, i suppose, but the last two lines eases it out, and i get a feeling - i love it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

BRILLIANT AND VERY WELL DONE! YOUR THOUGHTS ARE ONE THATPONDERS UPON MANKIND FOR AGES!
WE ALL HAVE ALIBIES MUST WE MUST ALL DO WHAT WE CAN TO MAKE THIS MAJESTIC EARTH A BETTER AND PEACEFUL PLACE! YOU DID WITH THIS GREAT WRITE! KEEP WRITING FROM YOUR SOUL FOR THE GOOD OF ALL SOULS! BRAVO!
ALWAYS,
TIM PINA
PENS FOR PEACE

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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LSS
Well done as usual. If you didn't win I'd be surprised. Not too many can actually make a poem out of few words. I've seen many using many words that are sloppily termed poetry, while yours works easily. I'd like to see you write a deeper poem on this same subject. You express yourself so wonderfully in other genres, like 'Candle in the wind', and I'd love to see what you would do with dust on the window.
Lar


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WOW! What a difficult task but you mastered it quite blissfully. Your poem doesn't appear forced at all as in some where there are word constraints. Bravo! A wonderfully written poem going beyond expectations.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

beautifully presented. excellent use of imagery. tovli

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Brilliant!!! A little sad, but magnificent. You achieved the set requirements with ease and such elegance and also managed to tell a story...wonderfully imaginative, this should do extremely well in your chosen contest Raj.
Helen xx

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very interesting thoughts this provokes deep within my out mind's eye. You are always such a thought provoking read. As your words paint a image that plays with my imagination so beautifully. I am so glad you sent this my way.




Great Job!!!!!!!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is super-sexy.............I simply loved it.

This is greattttt... The stipulations were never a straining limit for you. The restrictions seems so inviting as you write it.

An awesome write...

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

wow, you really pulled it off after all that conditions set.

The painting jives in as well.

I am actually impressed, you have the title in the bag for this ;)

A wonderful piece

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on September 8, 2008
Last Updated on September 8, 2008

Author

Candle in the wind
Candle in the wind

Calcutta, India



About
Flickering and blazing,not yet blown out in the wind... the flame has to sustain itself when the rains set in... Beyond norms and overrated sanity " We look before and after And pine for what i.. more..

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