Empty - Hell Stands

Hell stands, 
Silent in its post grave tenor, 
A graveyard makes more sound - than that of hells gates. 

The gates to hell loom, 
But they are open.  

Fields lay empty, unattended, 
Rivers flow on, uninterrupted, 
Yes, hell has been abandoned, left behind 
For a place much darker than hell ever was.  

The daemons have fled,  
7 horrors wander all paths of life,  
(Mayhem) 
4 horsemen have more work now than ever, 
(Chaos) 
All of the daemons are gone now. 

Hell stands emptied, 
Forgotten to many, 
Remembered by a choice few, 
Earth spins on, uninterrupted. 

Hell is empty, 
Earth is full to the brim.

Author's Note

I this is the second time writing this so sorry if there are errors, I am a bit annoyed at my phone right now. This is my first actual poem and only the third edit so I apologies if it isn't any good, I would really appreciate critique especially constructive criticism as I want to work on my writing. Also, ignore the Japanese in the photo, it's part of the book I'm writing in.

Reviews

[alifeacoustic]

I like this.The ending suggest that earth has become the hell of our own making, and worse than anything hell had to offer. It has a pace to it that makes you read it more slowly and concentrate on the overall feel of the piece. Earth spins on, uninterrupted...great line.
I really enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing.

[Alexanda Corrin]

Hallo, your response to my review on one of your poems spurned me into action, so I will attempt to respond to all reviews from now on, thanks. Thanks for the review, if you'll read my comment below I talk about getting the inspiration from an outside source, something I read so that's where the hell idea came from. A lot of my opened are very spaced out when I publish them, as you said I think it gives them a better feel, I space them like I'd say them. Thanks! That my favourite line too. Sorry for all of the typos in the poem, my phone made some changes...
AC

[alifeacoustic]

You're very welcome.

[Carbon Muse]

The sooner Jerusalem's gates open ... the sooner the dead walk the earth ... the sooner we can go home.

"A graveyard makes more sound - than that of hells gates", I love this line ... it almost make you think of the prophecy "when hell is full the dead will roam the earth", well, granted in your poem it's been emptied, but emptied of demons as though between the lost souls there are no more room left for them.

Do you mean the first poem that you wrote or the first poem you posted ... I could truly not tell that it was your first, it is so well executed.

Thank you for sharing it!

[Alexanda Corrin]

Thanks a lot for the review, that's a new outtake on this poem, I like it! This isn't the first poem I've written per say, I've written some through school and the like but it was the first poem I've written just for myself, and the first I actually edited and posted somewhere. So I do consider it to be my first 'actual poem'. Again, thank you for your kind words.

[Elizabeth Lowell]

The post apocalyptic feeling that your poem provokes captivated me, alongside with its outwordly and clear cut imagery.! Never did I expect a poem on hell to be so intriguing and alluring, excellent piece! You make one wander to barren lands and actually see some of the last demons pass him/her by.! The structure in the climax indicates the gravity of the issue and actually makes a critique on our chaotic, every day reality! Loved it in case you haven't noticed, hope I've helped :)

[Alexanda Corrin]

Thank you for the review! Yeah, I tend to add a lot of detail in what I write - I remember I had this English task to write a picture book, it ended up being over 1000 words long because I kept editing more detail into it... I love imagery myself, so I was trying to acutely convey my idea and I'm happy that you've understood what I mean!

[Zugzwang]

Hahaha. Hell on earth. What could be more perfect? I like ideas of duality so this aspect of the poem really appealed to me. Note that your phone turned hell to he'll on line 9. I hate phones too. Using one now and always do typos looking like a gumby.

[Alexanda Corrin]

Thanks from the review, I think I got the idea from a quote about hell being empty so that's where the incorporation came from, duality I like it, I think you've given me inspiration for another poem, thanks! Yeah I only realised that after, my first time posting this my internet died... I'm going to post the rest from my laptop though, but thanks for the critique!

[Zugzwang]

You're welcome .