Hope for Rain

Can I hope for some rain?

Hope For Rain

Its all over
My breaths have ceased
I'm no winner
The purest of souls is stained

I can see myself sinking
In the world of darkness
My eyes swollen crying
My lips sealed with numbness

I Try to Fight Back
My legs fallen
My body sick
My Life Taken

I still hope
Bowing my head down
For Some Rain...

Author's Note

Review please. Appreciations and Critisicisms are welcome. Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it.

Reviews

[Flutterby aish]

What I like the best about this poem is....even after all the disaster that has taken place within you....in the end, you still hope. And Hope is a very powerful thing...it can do wonders. I have a lot of faith in the word "hope". And the way you place your hope in Rain, i place it in stars. I loved your poem. The way your words flow on the page, its beautiful. You definitely know how to capture the readers attention and hold it till the end. Thank you for sharing :D

[Rainslover]

Thank you! Hope never dies! Even if you think it has dead, it still remains, you just don't know but you can feel it! Cool, Stars!
Glad that you liked it!

[Flutterby aish]

Yup ... hope is eternal!

[Laura S-C]

I liked this poem a lot. It states everything simply yet it still creates a strong effect. I also like how even when the worst happens you can still hope. Well done.

[Rainslover]

Thank you my dear friend! Glad you liked it! :)

[Insight "MH"]

I love he rain, it gives hope and fills the heart with joy. Well done writing this fine piece.

Insight.

[Rainslover]

Thank you so much!

I love your username my friend! :)

[Insight "MH"]

Sorry, not for sale ^_^

[Insight "MH"]

Oh, and you are so welcome.

[Rainslover]

Lol.

Thanks! :)

[FaeryQueen]

this is lovely!!!!!! keep writing!!!!!!!!!

[Rainslover]

Thank you so muchhh!!!

[jeannemarie coulter]

a wonderful prayer for rain...needed so many places on mother earth now...it comes and washes everything clean sweet and new...i found all of these things in your words...

[Rainslover]

Thank you! Glad you could find those things!

[Emily]

I really like the meaning!
It's a really cool idea for a poem!
Keep it up!

[Rainslover]

Thank You! Glad you liked it!

[Bear]

Powerful and yet tender, that is not an easy thing to capture and convey in writing but you have done it masterfully. There are a couple of things I would like to point out, in the second line you could go with (my breaths have ceased) as S.R.M. has suggested or you could go with (my breath has ceased) you only have one breath so you don't need the S and the word HAS to keep it in present tense, either will work. Also in the 7th line (My eyes swollen crying) you might try (My eyes swollen from crying) the word FROM justifies the reason you eyes are swollen. Again I ask, are you sure your just turning 14 again this is written with a maturity of a much older poet :~)

[Rainslover]

Thanks a lot! Glad that I was able to capture it! Thanks for the corrections, I will change it and make sure I don't do it next time. Yeah! I am turning 14.Lol.

[ShowtunesGiraffe]

This brings so many feelings of pain and defeat but it's truly beautiful. Also very descriptive.

[Rainslover]

Thank You!
My message is no matter what happens in life, though you feel you can no more hope there is still hope, it never dies down!

[ShowtunesGiraffe]

That's awesome :)

[Rainslover]

Thanks! : )

[S.R.M.]

This is wonderfully raw and emotional, I have trouble believing you're only 13! Well done! Your writing makes me feel true sadness. One small grammatical error though, I think your second line should read "my breaths have ceased" instead of "breathes." Other than that, great poem and keep up the good work :)

[Rainslover]

Thank you so much! And Thanks for correcting me, I will correct it and make sure I won't do it next time. Thanks Again.

[vspjaguar]

Hoping for rain to wash away the pain. A poem well written.

[Rainslover]

Yeah! Rain to wash away the pain!Thank You!