Sadness Is A State Of Being

A poem about not coping.

I feel so tired
Of everything I can't let go
Living this way
Has got me loving my dismay

This endless painful sadness
What my life has become
So I always run and hide
There is really nothing I can't abide

Continuously draining strength
With every lonely night
For every dream of you
I lose the will to see this through

Every self-destructive thought
I must remember
I am not a victimless crime
I have so many things to leave behind

And every wound I self-inflict
I lose another piece
Of the person I wanted to be
I really believe no one can save me

The sand is running down
The funnel of my life
I pay for every privilege
Standing this close to the edge

I wanted to jump ages before this
But no one will catch my fall
I never believed
It could have come to this at all

For how far I've gotten
There is still so far to go
So I always post a smiling at your leaving
But I still wake up screaming

Author's Note

I wrote this when I was 17 or 18 I believe, I don't feel this way anymore and honestly don't really like how the poem was written but it gets the message across better then any of my other works of the time and in that way remains important to me.