Without a goodbye.

Without a goodbye.

A Story by Rassoul
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I lost alot of things, friends, family and many other things and everytime I lose something I get a different feeling. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I feel nothing at all, sometimes all I have to do is keep yelling and screaming and it works sometimes, until I lost you.

Losing you was like dropping a tear into an ocean and searching for it once again. And when I lost you, screaming and yelling and all these stuff didn't really work, it doesn't heal anything; not anymore. It's like putting your hand on my heart and then you plucked it fastly, I could feel my whole chest burn but I had nothing to say.

Why did you leave? you should've seen my pale-crying face at night; thinking about how painful it was to leave me. One day you're here and the other day you're gone. That's too much for me; almost mind-blowing. 

Did I deserve all this? you don't have the courage to tell me goodbye? Well, I do. Maybe I would send you a letter in the last whiskey bottle we drank together and I hope you suffer, just like I do right now.

-Rassoul

© 2017 Rassoul


Author's Note

Rassoul
Tell me your opinion about this.
And if there's any grammatical mistakes, let me know.

My Review

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Featured Review

This was very tragic and sad and it certainly had a lot of a deep emotions in it. I really liked how you built the emotions up through it and really showed the pain that it was causing.
Just a couple of small things; after a question mark you should start the next sentence with a capital letter. A lot is two words, not one. Also there's a few points where there's a word in the sentence which makes it not flow as smoothly as it could. Like here "all these stuff" these would probably be better as 'this'. "plucked it fastly," you don't really do something fastly you do it fast or quickly.
That's just my opinion though. It doesn't really take too much from the deeper point of this poem and the strength of the emotions. I loved the idea of the whiskey bottle, I thought it was very clever, but admittedly I don't like the idea of saying 'I hope you suffer' but that's definitely just my opinion of things. This was definitely a piece where the sadness of the emotions really came through and that was great to see.


Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Rassoul

6 Years Ago

I really appreciate your review, thanks alot for being nice and thanks for telling me your honest op.. read more



Reviews

I am reading it again and again bruh I like it

Posted 6 Years Ago


Rassoul

6 Years Ago

Thanks for your review, I hope you enjoyed.
It's a hit to me, Loss, suffer but raise ....
I enjoyed it..:)

Posted 6 Years Ago


Rassoul

6 Years Ago

Thanks alot.
Wow, this was really powerful, it shows so many different stages of grief. I completely know how you feel and even if I didn't, your writing abilities are superb and can make the reader understand and sympathize. Great work

Posted 6 Years Ago


Rassoul

6 Years Ago

You just made my day, thanks alot for your words!
This was very tragic and sad and it certainly had a lot of a deep emotions in it. I really liked how you built the emotions up through it and really showed the pain that it was causing.
Just a couple of small things; after a question mark you should start the next sentence with a capital letter. A lot is two words, not one. Also there's a few points where there's a word in the sentence which makes it not flow as smoothly as it could. Like here "all these stuff" these would probably be better as 'this'. "plucked it fastly," you don't really do something fastly you do it fast or quickly.
That's just my opinion though. It doesn't really take too much from the deeper point of this poem and the strength of the emotions. I loved the idea of the whiskey bottle, I thought it was very clever, but admittedly I don't like the idea of saying 'I hope you suffer' but that's definitely just my opinion of things. This was definitely a piece where the sadness of the emotions really came through and that was great to see.


Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Rassoul

6 Years Ago

I really appreciate your review, thanks alot for being nice and thanks for telling me your honest op.. read more
I am currently dealing with the same thing as what you are writing. I hated her for leaving me but it isn't quite right for us to wish them ill. I can feel that you're still hurting. We can get through this. send me a message if you want to talk to someone.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Rassoul

6 Years Ago

Thanks for your review bro, and yeah sure I'll contact you sometime.
So sad, indeed. I could feel every words. You're able express emotions well. Keep it up.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Rassoul

6 Years Ago

Thanks alot for your words, I really appreciate them.
This is so deep and sad! My favourite kind. Heartbreak is really tragic. Keep writing.

Love,
Vasilees.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Rassoul

6 Years Ago

Thanks alot for your sweet words!
Without that closure or concrete reason for failure long days are ready to eat us alive. Consumption of the soul. Pondering if that person hurts as much as we do. We never think they do but some handle it better than others. Nice job my friend. I enjoyed reading this

Posted 6 Years Ago


Rassoul

6 Years Ago

Thanks for spending your time reading it, mate!
Glad you enjoyed.
duff

6 Years Ago

You're very welcome!
Omg 😢 it is sooo deep , i love your writing it is always reach to my soul

Posted 6 Years Ago


Rassoul

6 Years Ago

I'm so glad you said that, thank you so much!
you just made my day.
Nora

6 Years Ago

Keep it up 😊 our writing is all we have to escape and express you know
Heartbreak - confounding and tortuous. It's hard to know you're torn apart then look around at them and they're acting like it's not tearing them apart either. Kudos to you on writing a moving piece. Keep the emotion real. Expand on it. You leave me wanting more. Looking forward to reading your other work.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Rassoul

6 Years Ago

I'm speechless, thank you so much for your words!

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1421 Views
31 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 13, 2017
Last Updated on May 13, 2017
Tags: Losing, Separating, Goodbye

Author

Rassoul
Rassoul

Cairo, Egypt



About
I write to survive, I write to satisfy the devil inside. Omar Ashraf who also known as Rassoul. more..

Writing
I can't I can't

A Story by Rassoul



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